Tuesday, May 03, 2011

It's the 2011 Giro d'Italia, Baby!

Tour, Schmour--it's time for the fabulous Giro d'Italia, baby, and the Corsa Rosa kicks off on Saturday! So, without further ado, here's yer Official Racejunkie Quickie Preview of the Bow Before the Giro d'Italia, Beeyotches:

The Course: 21 stages o' leg-rippin' misery, starting with a flat, 19k team time trial, tossin' in a couple of flat stages before Cav starts crying, then baby, it's 'most all uphill from there. In theory: 7 sprints, 4 rollers, 6 high mountains with 6 summit finishes, and one mountain time trial. In reality: if you can't climb, you're !@#$ed. And if you *can* climb, honey, by the end of the thing, you'll damn well wish you hadn't. Forza, baby--you guys are gonna need it!

The GC Contenders: Alberto "Last Race of 2011" Contador; 2010 Vuelta champ/Basso substitute Vincenzo Nibali; Denis "Ride for Sastre Dammit!" Menchov; dear little Sastre (shut up!); Euskaltel's almost-2010-Vuelta winner Igor Anton; Scarponi. Funny how *he's* the only Italian not implicated in a doping investigation, right?

The Sprinters: Like, who cares? It's the *Giro*, for !@#$'s sake! Okay, Cav's in there, and so's Petacchi. The rest--I'll post 'em when I got 'em!

The Missing: GC contenders Basso, Cadel, big'n'baby Schleck, Samuel Sanchez (aiming for the Tour, fearing the mountains in the Giro except for Samu of course); fast-men Daniele Bennati (injury) and Tom Boonen (ugh, Tour); stage-hunter Pippo "Suave" Pozzato (inexplicable snit by wankers at Katusha); and, including Cunego and ex-world champ Ballan, pretty much everyone who's ever, ever, ridden for Lampre (Mantova doping inquisition). Dang, the way this is shaping up, you folks oughta start translating all those Italian signs into Spanish, eh? Oh, the humanity!

Stages to Watch: to me, the Giro is all about the mountains, so watch the strong barely survive and the weak give up the GC ghost on the trio of rides up the Dolomites in stages 13-15, including, apparently, a hard-core BMX ride and a relaxing death-drop off the Crostis on which the seemingly litigation-wary race organizers are thoughtfully pitching some safety nets. Boy, does that make *me* feel better--the riders, maybe not so much!

And Last But Not Least: finally, as a thank you to both my faithful readers for realizing how supremely more bitchin' the Giro is than the Tour, we'll be running the annual Racejunkie Win Free Stuff contest every week during the Giro this year--thrills for all, and cool free stuff for the victors!


Tom said...

I love my RJ cycling hat, which I hardly had to bribe her at all last year so I could win.

Rosemary said...

I tried your bribe suggestion....but I ending up getting mine through guilt. Whatever works!

Joe said...

don't forget Kreuzinger.

Tom said...

ya gotta play all the angles. just in case.