Lance Armstrong's Oh, !@#$! Moment

Okay, *This* One's Gotta Hurt: all right, forget bitter-Betty Landis and his "Fairness Fund" and even Tyler exorcising--and I hope it helps--his demons saying he had a bird's eye view of Armstrong injecting EPO: now, it appears, permanent Lance loyalist big George Hincapie has told the feds he saw Lance using PEDs. Look, even if you can't accept the premise that Floyd and Tyler just finally wanted out from under, you can argue all day that, besides being pissed over being busted to boot, Floyd and Hamilton had their own agendas--they dared to want and have their own careers, and Lance never stopped punishing 'em for it. And as it happens, disgusted as I was by Hamilton in particular at the time because I'd been so enamored of his brave uphill Grand Tour slog through a snapped collarbone, I don't think Tyler actually has anything to gain at this point, unless you count being ruthlessly ripped by the entire American Lance-worshipping cycling-ignoring public as an obvious liar, self-promoter, and general scumbag--which would seem to go against Tyler's self-imposed quiet couple of years off the radar and on to a respectable day-job. But Hincapie, who willingly stuck with Lance through most of his Tours at his own legacy's expense and for one lousy stage win at that, has none of that baggage. So let's hear it--how's Lance gonna smack down this one?

A Note From the Completely Immaterial Arguments Department: And while we're at it, and before Lance's Tour de France army comes at all us doubters with surface-to-air missiles, can we please stop with the dimwit self-serving "never tested positive" bull!@#$ already? Neither did Bjarne, Basso, Valverde, or half a dozen other heroes for the most part, until they either 'fessed up in annoyance or finally screwed up just enough. Neither did pretty well the entire cheating lowlife dope-sucking passel of Lance's PostalDiscovery minions, either--at least 'til after they left him. But apparently, they're all lyin' when they say they did dope when they didn't test positive, and all got nailed the very very very first time they ever did dope. So can we lay to rest the idiot argument that there's obviously no doping in the peloton because no-one got caught today with a giant needle in their !@#? Thanks, everybody!

Grossglockner Is Right: meantime, that was almost agonizing to watch the Giro today, particularly as I wouldn't mind seeing Nibali--hell, anyone--take a bite outta Contador just for variety's sake, but I gotta admit, baffled as I was when Alberto first took off gratuitously on the final climb considering the challenges still ahead for tomorrow and Sunday, that boy is growing some tactical *brains*. All he's gotta do now is hold on tight, and he's even, not to curse him or nothin', got room for a little mechanical problem or careless hunger bonk. On the other hand, is anyone else disconcertingly reminded of Ivan Basso's blistering win in 2006? Nope, nope, he couldn't be that stupid, it's just his natural superiority...or at least it !@#damn well better be!

Change in Plans: meantime, I see the Giro has just announced it's ditching the nasty ascent, and, more to the point, hairy descent of Monte Crostis tomorrow, which, depending on how they reroute the stage, could give the remaining GC boys some hope that they'll still have some life in their legs before Contador bashes it out of 'em, or, if Alberto's feeling particularly generous (speaking of which, it *was* worth the 8-second loss in time bonus to be a respectable human being and let Rujano take the stage win), even a little bit of actual leeway. Well, the day will tell--just be careful out there on the rest of it, guys, and well and wisely done by the Giro to sacrifice drama for safety!

Daaaaaaaavvve! Jeeeeeeeeennnnnns!: finally, besides the bummin' realization that we love Jens Voigt had to bail out of the TOC after riding with a broken wrist all day, that was really one kick-butt win for Dave Zabriskie today and an exceedingly fine performance from Chris Horner to hold onto the jersey. See, you *can* win without the porn-stache--now on to the Tour de France!