Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Back to the Giro, Baby!

Rest Days Are for Pansies: yep, after Contador's monster mental--not to mention physical--crushing of his rivals up Mt. Etna, it's back for a quick trip to the (relative) flat before the Dolomites kick in, and lucky Week 1 winner Joe has sadistically chosen the colorful Mark Cavendish as his Two-Week Rider Insult Moratorium bud! In which case, I gotta say: that was a very, very fine sprint today, Cav--well earned, and it's darned nice to see you back on form. Here's the finish: And you looked quite dashing in your team kit to boot. And you didn't ev--dammit! Must...control...mind...can't...touch...keyboard...

Call A Plastic Surgeon, Stat!: bad news for Ivan Basso--right as one of the most formidable, and certainly by far the prettiest, of the Tour de France GC contenders gets into the swing of pre-race training, our Liquigas pinup has a nasty fall on a tricky curve in Sicily, whacks the crap out of his shoulder and requires 15 stitches around his right eye and all over his cheek. Luckily, no broken bones, so though naturally declaring himself "really scared," Basso will gamely be back on the bike post-haste. Forza, Ivan--we all want the Tour to be the Battle of the Best, so don't let this little incidente psych you out!

In the Meadow We Can Build a Snowman: meantime, the Tour of California has wisely steered away the peloton from its scheduled trip to the Donner Pass--'cause not to get graphic here, primarily because I'd hurl, but the contents of a musette can only last so long if you know what I mean--and, after a coupla exciting sprints (Thor! Come *on* already!), it's back at last to not only warmer climes, but, even better, it's time for the mountains, honey! And, if my dear reader(s) across the pond will allow me just one rah-rah imperialist-pig America-n'-apple-pie moment, ain't it nice to see our domestic squads whomp the competition in their home stomping grounds? Yeah, take *that*, Euro-snobs! So what, the Americans still haven't quite won a stage yet...well, *you* pampered lap dogs try to do the job every day when American sports sponsors are spending all their dough on a pack of steroid-snorting NFL no-necks!

Finally: Enter here to win free stuff in the 2011 Giro d'Italia Racejunkie Win Free Stuff Contest! This week's bonus points: for anyone who gets a tat of Contador making that "pistolero" shot right on their !@#. Well, no bonus points technically, exactly--but hey, won't your mama be *proud*?


Tusher said...

Excellent!A moratorium for Cav!

Anonymous said...

Obviously RJ can't post these because of a moratorium....but these tweets are pretty funny:

Cipollini calls @MarkCavendish fat. It's what happens when you're being trailed by an ice cream truck and a marching band.

EXCLUSIVE first photo of @markcavendish's tow up Mt. Etna. http://twitpic.com/4yzr05

Rosemary said...

haha, at least he didn't try this move: