Sunday, May 08, 2011

Cav, You Big Baby!

Wah, Wah, Wah: Okay, the stage *just* ended so the official commentary from the sprinters isn't in yet, but how it *does* clearly go is something like, Cav: "wah, wah, wah, that bastard, wah, my line, wah, crappy sport, wah, I should take it like a man but I won't, wah" and Petacchi: "heat of the sprint, no wah, great lead out, Cav who, no wah, I only had 18 puffs of my asthma meds in the last 500 meters, no wah, why am I suddenly a better sprinter at 37 than I was at 33, no wah." Geez, Cav, half the time you're sending Renshaw up there like some picked-on twerp's schoolyard muscle to sucker-punch somebody 3 meters from the line, so suck it *up* for once, whydontcha? Oh, there's Ale-Jet kissing the podium babes--oof! And there you are sulking like a little !@#$% as you pull on the massive honor of the leader's jersey! Oh, wait, here's the word right from the giant teeth: "I had to stop and start my sprint two times" and, apparently the real beef on the issue, "I get relegated for that." Okay, he swerved a bit, cry it out over a beer on your new maglia rosa tonight and cut down the pissy wanker gesturing, all right? Here's the footage:

Igor Anton Is !@#$%ed!: meantime, on GC, Carlos Sastre claims unconcern at his squad's unhealthy hosing in the team time trial, Scarponi is cautiously pleased, Contador's unconcerned, Nibali's in great shape and poor we love Euskaltel's Igor Anton who still has plenty of time to come back in the mountains (shut up!) is off to a miserable though certainly for him not irredeemable start at 87 minutes back (shut up!). Tomorrow: the contenders save themselves for the mountains at the end of the week, and Cav gets his revenge unless he gets distracted while Robbie McEwen head-butts him off his ride while Tyler comes around as the only guy *not* cheating and takes the stage. You go, Tyler!

My New Ferrari: speaking of Nibali, I see he's hotly contesting any rumored ties to renowned Lance BFF Dr. Michele Ferrari, which is really too bad when you think about it, because he's apparently just a really fun guy to hang out with at a barbecue and a ton of sterile medical equipment before and during a big Grand Tour. A gentle nudge to the Giro organizers: if you're gonna nail him, which you won't, at least don't pull a Rasmussen on him and let him get within 20k of the final finish line before you jerk him outta the race!


zenasmillet said...

Bonus points to Cavendish for his new Twitter feed: funny AND grammatically correct. Who knew?

zenasmillet said...

... change that to :
... is *usually* grammatically correct ...