Wednesday, May 21, 2014

It's Yer Deep Thoughts 'n' Important Questions Peloton Roundup! and, Enter to Win! #giro

Yes, tomorrow's the 46-odd k rolling race o' truth at the Giro d'Italia, where the GC contenders will find themselves either (1) still in or (2) completely screwed and forced to issue a press release about how they've really only been targeting a week 3 stage win the whole time anyway. But not to worry, Nairo and Rigoberto can probably hold themselves up pretty well against Cadel at least! So 'til the tears start flowin':

1. Am I the only cycling fan listening to these stories from (American) football and baseball about doping and painkillers and thinkin', "what a !@#$in' pack of amateurs"?

2. !@#hole quote o' the week: Olympic gold-medalist trackie and fierce proponent of women's equality in sports Jason Kenny, opining that a women's Tour de France would result in "deaths" for the ladies involved. Also, they'll start growing chest hair, refuse to cook dinner for their husbands, and their ovaries will shrivel into Raisinettes. The horror!

3. So Chris-Anker Sorensen doesn't remember a good 20k of the race today after his crash. *Please*, DSes, if you see a boy whang his head, *take him off the bike* for heck's sake--you *know* these masochists are conditioned to ride no matter how hurt they are!

4. Oh, Jan Ullrich. You were *such* a lovable mess as a rider. Please, *please* look at what happened to some of your contemporaries--avert that downward spiral, whatever it takes!

5. Sagan's win at the Tour of California was nice and all, but he ain't lookin' like no 4 million euro man just yet this season. Unless you're Oleg Tinkov, in which case that's just the pocket change you leave the waitress at the diner. Get 'im while he's still celebrating Mick Rogers' win, kid!

6. Speaking of whom, I feel just a *little* dirty being so happy to see Mick take the win at the Giro today. But not as dirty as I do when I cheer on Contador.

7. Right, Armstrong has to testify. Is there anyone who *doesn't* assume he'll continue to be a delusional self-justifying sack of crap?

8. Everyone quit bitchin' about Fernando Alonso buying a World Tour gig for his new squad. If he hires Samuel Sanchez to do anything higher'n washing riders' underwear next year, he can buy whole races for all I care--hell, that wily bastard Vinokourov (allegedly) did it, and we still love *him*!

9. *Really*, BMC--you're not even fielding *anybody* at the Tour of Norway? Kick Thor Hushovd in the nuts whydontcha--I mean, Caja freakin' Rural is riding it!

Well, onto the Ride o' Destiny tomorrow--and enter our Giro contest here to win, because the wine's amazing! The time trial:

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