Wednesday, May 14, 2014

He's Got Le-e-e-e-gs/He Knows How to Use Them! Where's the Beef? and, Enter to Win! #Giro

Lookin' Good, Purito!: yep, the slick bloody carnage of the early Giro sprint days are over, and it's time for the *real* purpose o' the race, the hills! First, anyone who sez we love Samuel Sanchez lost time today for anything but the sole reason of his selfless service to Cadel Evans is a lying sack of hell-bound crap who oughta be power-noogied into total abject apologetic submission, *and* thwapped upside the head with a loaded musette. Second, leaving aside the fact that Purito's still gotta make up 1:32 already through no fault whatsoever of his own, he showed today he's feeling *strong*, baby! Third, while anyone who makes it clear they're riding the beautiful Giro only reluctantly because their bosses won't give 'em the Tour should be banned from cycling for life, Cadel Evans does at least work like a dog to honor any race he's in and does look great for the top spot in Milan. Nice work BMC, but pedala, pedala Purito--like some winky little 8-hour time deficit is gonna hold *you* back once we hit the serious mountains? Here, whippersnapper Diego Ulissi shows the Italians who they're gonna root for on GC a few years down the line: Tomorrow: somethin' about having to divert around a landslide. Which still sounds a hell of a lot easier than gettin' over the Gavia's gonna be, if today's any indication!

Well, At Least He Ain't No Shrinking Violet: and, Contador boss Oleg Tinkov, in what can only be reasonably construed as a giant "!@#$ you" to the noble guards o' virtue over at UCI, has actually signed on a beef sponsor for the squad. And yes, it's heck funny. But why is this even controversial--Amgen EPO Tour of California, anyone? Next year: Floyd Landis' new UCI Pro Continental Team Steaming Testosterone Nut-Patch. Put 'em all together, and you rogue old-generation dopers've got yerselves a paaaar-*tay*!

Enter to Win!: What? every week, answer the question right, be drawn from the Holy Once-Eroski Cap o' Destiny, and win bitchin' stuff! Why? it's the Giro for chrissakes! Where? enter here--and in bocca al lupo, the lot of you!


Rosemary said...

Noooooo! Purito is out of the Giro. Well, time to remove my license plate and find Tom Boonen at the AmgenToC.

racejunkie said...

Purito will be back in time to be in form for another Grand Tour. Meantime say hi to Tommeke!

Anonymous said...

Boone had a little more time since he wasn't racing today.