Friday, May 16, 2014

It's Your GC-Wreckin' Giro Carnage Roundup! That's "Sir" Taylor to You, Pal! And, You Broke Pozzato's Heart, Lampre You Bums! #giro

Oh, No, Purito!: well, the pile o' wounded road warriors is in from Thursday's disastrous Giro stage, and aside from basically everybody in the entire not in the first 8 riders at the base of the final climb ending up on the floor with at least a bucket of scrapes and bruises, we love dear GC hope Purito Rodriguez was knocked completely out with coupla busted ribs to match the ones he was just healing up from earlier in the season and a broken bone in his hand, Michele Scarponi was held up (and seemed quite on the fence today as to whether he should be in a snit at Cadel for not sitting up for everyone), and Purito lieutenant Angel Vicioso, who was quite scarily near-immobile on the ground for a while, seems to have gotten by far the worst of it, with a multiply-broken femur and contradictory reports in the international press as to whether, at age 37, he's just gonna flat-out retire rather'n struggle to heal and get back to top level. What a !@#$ty way to end a fine career--Katusha, surely this talented boy's gotten "DS" written all over him for the future?!

Watch Out Wiggo: yeah Bradley, you got the title, but Taylor Phinney's got the class-- check out his most elegant bow across the line after his gorgeous downhill attack at the Amgen EPO TOC this week! And is anyone *really* buying Sky's delusional crap about how Brad's gonna be a happy little domestique for Froomey at the Tour, despite their implied suggestion that he might not make the team if he ain't? Yeah, me neither!

Pippo in Exile: look, half-clothed peloton selfie-king Pippo Pozzato's been most gracious about riding that nice race in Japan, but luckily, I don't have to be: you *suck*, Lampre! Wah, wah, "results," wah--Pippo was still the highest-placed Italian at the Classics this year (ok, like 50th at Paris-Roubaix, but still!), and, in a sport that's hardly shied away from style over substance, you gotta admit that he's more fun for the tifosi & everybody else than some grim lumbering drudge, plus maybe even prettier than, like, Kittel or Basso, so why the hell didn't you let him ride his darling Giro d'Italia--what, you expect that Simoni-backstabber Cunego to bring it home? On the other hand, with the field down to about 5 guys and a bunch of lucky roleurs, maybe he will...Anyhow, Free Pippo For Giro 2015!

Enter to Win! finally, it's our Giro contest again, so because Samuel Sanchez is bitchin' and he's riding it, enter here and earn eternal glory, and free stuff!

No comments: