Friday, May 24, 2013

Danilo Wants a Do-Over; Lance Chimes In; and, Last Chance to Call the Podium and Win!

So Are We Pissed 'Cause He Doped, Or Pissed 'Cause He Just Doped Stupid?: yes, the Giro d'Italia stage was canceled but the drama went on: Danilo "Strawberry Shortcake" Di Luca, previously busted for using so much masking agent he topped out with lower testosterone levels than a Ken doll, was nailed yet again for EPO. Danilo's take? He's optimistically--if delusionally--waiting for the B sample before he talks. Peloton reaction was, natch--and surely on the iron-fisted advice of their PR folks--swift. My fave tweet: Movistar's recent stage winner Benat Inxtausti telling Di Luca discreetly, in Italian, to shove it up his !@#. Hey, you ever suggest that to yer incredibly clean teammate Alejandro "Bloodbag" Valverde? Thought not! Lance Armstrong, of course, got all the attention, calling Di Luca a "f___ing idiot," but apparently just for getting nailed, not the actual cheating. Geez Lance, if Danilo had your power, your sponsorship dough, your expensively stoked-to-the-gills domestiques to fuel your astonishing palmares, *and* yer machiavellian mastermind Johan Bruyneel in his pocket, maybe *he* could have afforded the obscenely huge $$$ to be as "smart" as you too! Friendly note to nearly-deadly-inept drug-stuffing life-banned mountains freak Riccardo Ricco': coincidental timing or not, tweeting a pic of you and Danilo riding together is *not* doing the boy any favors. you're *not* doing Danilo Di Luca any favors tweeting a pic of the two of you riding together. !@#$, just post photos of the two of you with syringes in your rumps giving the camera a big thumbs-up whydontcha?

It's the Mountain o' Truth, Baby!: finally, while Cav sits tight awaiting his inevitable win on Sunday, there's now just one truncated day left for the podium fighters to make their cases, so I, for one, am expecting a full-on attackfest brawl between Cadel, Rigoberto, Michele and (for the stage win--shut up! will too!) Samuel Sanchez. So enter here, brownnose me about the superior fabulousness of Euskaltel, grab eternal glory, and win yourself a cycling cap! The profile (so far this evening): Forza, forza Cadel and Samu--and watch out for those neon snakes at Lampre!

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