*That's* a Freakin' Rest Day?

Pippo, Suave: well, it's sure been an action-packed day o' rest at the Giro d'Italia: while maglia rosa Vincenzo Nibali remains cagey, Cadel Evans professes (not unreasonably) optimism, and the weather looks to toss the GC into chaos as mountain stages continue on the verge of rearrangement, an Italian journalist excoriated humble Scarponi domestique/comelier-than-thou peloton studpup Pippo Pozzato as a vain, lazy, glasses-and-shoe-matching, tv-whoring prima donna, and an angry hosed breakaway rider from Bardiani called him a "mafioso" for allegedly organizing a screw-the-organizers temporary race-slowdown to (not unfairly, for heck's sake) protest dangerous conditions on Mont Cenis. Of course, the entire twitsphere, including the gallant Taylor Phinney, immediately leapt to his defense. Try picking on someone less pretty (and charming) next time, jerkface!

Only the Good Die (Well, Retire) Young: and, in 'retirement' news, poor teamless Levi Leipheimer finally called it quits while guys who profited amazingly handsomely for doing the same disgusting !@#$ but didn't actually get busted for it twice continue in the peloton, as if that makes any sense, and Heras'-Vuelta-thieving weasel Denis Menchov unexpectedly called it a career over "knee trouble." In addition to his impressive palmares, Menchov also managed to rack up a 9-out-of-10 on the doper-suspicion scale in recent years, a truly stellar achievement considering the A-list competition on that front. Don't worry, Denis--'fess up a little, sniffle up a storm, and a lucrative DS gig should soon be yours!

Get In the Kitchen and Make Me Some Pie!: finally, it's really been heartwarming to see the total disregard for women's cycling this past week, as first that pig Wiggo bemoans his lack of manly descending skills, then the course at the Amgen EPO Tour of California isn't even wholly closed to traffic for the women's race, and lastly, the Tour de Languedoc screwed itself and half its amazing peloton by keeping the teams entirely in the dark as to whether they'd even be racing the damn thing right 'til it was time to clip in their freakin' pedals. One remaining bright spot: July's Giro Donne, with 20 teams and 160 riders set to start. What, some other race starts then too? Never heard of it!