Let's Head for the Hills, Baby!; and, That !@#$in' Lancefest in California

Higher, Baby!: yes, I've been lame about posting, and yes, it's because Petacchi and McEwen aside I really don't give a rat's !@# about the flats, but now the fabulous Giro's *really* under way: it's time for the hills, baby! On immediate tap: playgirl pinup Pippo Pozzato gets going on the strade bianche, and predicts disaster for pampered-kitten roadies Ivan Basso and shut-the-hell-up-Pippo-he's-a-god-anyway we love Carlos Sastre. Just please don't lose any more time, Carlos! Here's Sunday's parcours. Finally, some mountaintop action--oh, can it, you pervs!

Cadel Evans Is Scr#wed!: okay, let's get straight to it: Cadel's fine young team--and they *are* a fine young team--just doesn't have the chops to put Cadel into the final maglia rosa in Milan. Can someone please explain to me why the !@#$ a multiple Tour de France podium finisher & current scorchin' world champ can't ever find a team to hire him that can actually do him justice? I mean, I still want Sastre to stomp him into the dust and all--though I mightily appreciate Cadel's both ditchin' the wheel-suck and his increasing tendencies to go certifiably wingnut on the unsuspecting press corps--but are the powers-that-be *trying* to Klodi this poor guy into total obscurity? Hmmm...if Valverde gets nailed (ha!), there'd be Caisse d'Epargne, except LL Cool Sanchez is ready to take over there...if Bjarne can't find a new sponsor and the Schlecks hightail it for their own gig, *he* might have a last-minute opening...um, anyone?

Oh, All *Right* Already!: finally, it's time for the Amgen EPO Tour of California, and, in lieu of a formal preview, I'd just like to point out to the celebrity-grubbing Lance-whores who will ignore every other world-class rider on the planet and turn this event into a 24/7 piss-me-off-athon, Levi Leipheimer, not the Chosen One, is the RadioSkank rider for GC. Y'know, he's a cyclist...he's bagged a ton of Grand Tour and other glory...he's nice to animals...he wins this race every year...anyway, *we* love you, Levi!