Wah, Froome, Wah, Contador, Wah; and, Who Gives a Crap About the Tour, Euskaltel's In Trouble! #tdf

This Is What It Sounds Like/When Maillot Jaunes Cry: Froome, you big baby! Contador was a danger to *you*? You know he's gotta attack, he's usually a great descender, he overcooked a turn, you chose to glom onto his wheel & take the risk, where do you get off acting like he's supposed to shepherd safely you down the mountain, he ain't your domestique! And if he's so desperate, which he is, and it's so hopeless, which it is, he oughtn't've scared you so much you were an inch off his butt! Jeez, you sound like a freakin' Schleck. What's next, "wah, wah, Mollema attacked, wah, it really tired my guys out chasing him down, wah?" It's their jobs! And Alberto--in the interests of fair play and no-whinin', cut poor Quintana some slack. He's got his own interests to protect, and it's not like he's slugging it out with you for yellow. Damn, just whang each other upside the head with a bike wheel like gentlemen, and let it go!

Aiiiiggghhhhh! Save Euskaltel! Aiiiggghhhhh!: look, bad enough that 3/4 of the time I hear some Euskaltel rider's kicking !@#, I get the sickening realization it's already someone the wankers at RadioSkank or Movistar have poached, now team boss/former rider Igor Gonzalez de Galdeano's confirmed the team is screwed financially *again*, and if they don't get a new sponsor in like two days they'll be dust by August, so everyone's apparently bailing, including the smashing Mikel Nieve, who's now freakin' linked to Saxodor. All I know is, for the better part of 20 years, with a crap budget and an incredible fan base, they've managed to produce some of the best climbers on the planet (shut up! I'm still in denial about dear Iban Mayo! go to hell!), they put a sprinter up to fourth behind Cav this year without even a leadout, and *Europcar*'s getting all the dough? This blows! So send a pile o' money but quick to me, at "For !@#$'s Sake Save Euskaltel," and I swear I'll send it straight to Samu' 'cuz we all know he'll act gallantly. Free Euskalteeeeeeeel!


All right, on to the time trial. Then can we please get back to the fun in the Alps?