And It's Total Carnage! Froome Hammers, Cadel Cracks, And Il Pistolero's Shootin' Blanks (Y'know, Mountainwise) #tdf

Holy crap, yes it's just the first mountain day and there's plenty more pain to come, but the second-coming-of-US-Postal anti-Sky conspiracy theorists are heaving right now, as Froome absolutely crushes the field including an incredibly strong solo Quintana, Cadel just gritted his teeth to limit his losses, Valverde toughed it out and, most important for Froomey, Contador looked like hell was just desperately grabbin' the wheel of Roman Kreuzinger like his momma's skirt and lost over a minute and a freakin' half to Froomey. Well, I guess that answers the Contador question, because apparently he wasn't just fakin' it! Worth his *absolute* weight in gold: Richie Porte, who apparently took a walk in the park destroying the field while they whimpered behind him and still managed to come in a comfortable second as he'd already shedded the rest of the GC contenders behind him anyway. Froome, if *anyone* deserves to be a braggart challenging beeyotch to his team leader like you were to Wiggo all last year, and can clearly threaten you for GC from within, it's Porte, so gratefully give that guy a stage win in the next two weeks and *worship* the ground Porte walks on! Oh--here's the post-race interview--nice work Froomey, just keeeeeeeeeeep complimenting him, and the rest of your gut-wrenched teammates, boyo! Reaction from Contador: well, it ain't here yet, but poker-faced tranquillo as he always is, I am bankin' that tonight ain't gonna be pretty. There's plenty of road til Paris though--lucky for all you other GC (sorta, still) contenders!


Oh, and Vos is already back. What a bad-!@#!