Wednesday, July 03, 2013

Cav! Ted! Marianne! and, Revenge of the Podium Babes #tdf #GiroRosa

The Sprinters Have Their Day (and Days, and Days, and Days...): yep, time for a three-day breather before the race heads seriously up, as Cav bags his first win of this Tour while the rest of the race is still getting their coffee on the team bus, the GC contenders lick their wounds and psych themselves up (Cadel and Purito in particular, I hope) to make up time on each other in the mountains and, for those of you dissing Phil Liggett & Paul Sherwen who can all just go bite yourselves, an endless eardrum-piercing replay of that "I Want Moo-oore" crap beer commercial for us Americans to boot. Looking distinctly grumpy today: a caught-out (by his standards) Peter Sagan. I can't imagine how ticked off he's gonna be when we love Edvald Boassen Hagen beats him to the line again!

If You Weren't Bawling During His Interview, You're Lying: meantime, I and apparently most of the rest of Planet Earth still call b.s. on the bureaucrat-weenie exclusion of hardworking shoulder-dislocated Tour debutante Ted King, controversially out of the time cut and out of a dream by seven seconds in the time trial if you don't count his own data, and beneficiary of an outraged (if ultimately fruitless) reinstatement campaign. *Really*, when you clowns routinely let bigger groups and bigger names stay in from outside the time cut all the time? Not to mention the truly impressive number of busted ex-dopers who still get to ride the thing (yeah, different rule, still blows)! Anyway Ted, you did yourself and everyone else proud--forza, and I hope you come back next year!

Be Pink: over at the Giro Rosa, Marianne Vos continues her campaign towards Total World Domination, bagging two out of the last 4 stages. Tell me again how much she *doesn't* get paid to kick the entire world of cycling in the nuts? Here, stage 3: Bonus points if you can listen to the techno music without turning off the volume and missing all the interviews! Tomorrow: a short 'n' brutal climb to Monte Beigua. On and up--and can we *please* get up some decent footage on the internet the same damn day as the actual *stage*? Grazie dammit!

Body Count Update: in "down but not out" news, Alberto Contador took a huge hit when longtime lieutenant Benjamin Noval ripped a (highly useful) tendon on some dumb!@#$' camera Haimar Zubeldia's got his finger in a splint Tejay's been riding around with a cracked rib Geraint Thomas is sittin' on a cracked pelvis and poor Christian VandeVelde dislodged an existing screw in his collarbone and has got a blood clot, and also among the other injuries reported today, according to official race releases, luckless Johnny Hoogerland's now got "sunburn forearm." Damn, can't any of these guys get a break (not a literal one! enough of those!)? Get well soon (and for heck's sake stay upright and sunscreened) boys!

"Arm Candy" This!: last but not least, for those of us who object to antics such as, say, Peter Sagan's troglodyte podium !@#-grab and, y'know, the entire podium-babe concept, fear not, 'cause they're all about fairness: a veteran pro's got it covered with "bangabledudesinprocycling.com". So does this mean Mario "the Chest" Cipollini and Pippo Pozzato can just post their nekkid oiled-up pics in one place from now on? Convenience *and* ingenuity!

2 comments:

Jen said...

lovin the updates, great to read about the GiroRosa, and wow, really enjoying that link... :D

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