Wednesday, July 10, 2013

GC (Wannabe) Roundup! Euskaltel! Cavendish! And, Etiquette for Pigs #tdf

Dream a Little Dream ('Cause That's the Only Way You're Hitting the Top Step of the Podium Now): yep, the individual time trial was today, and barring a catastrophic injury, a series of multi-day major-bonks, or, y'know, other bad news by which I am not accusing the irritable Chris Froome of anything, our Skyboy maillot jaune's got this one in the bag, and it's basically just a week and a half of the rest of the GC contenders scavenging for second. As some consolation, at least to us fans, it's *still* a thousand times less achingly dull than *last* year's Tour. Stay safe and strong, Froome, and may these guys still give you at least a good scare or two anyway!

Ms. Manners Explains It All: look, what Mark Cavendish did to Tom Veelers *was* punk-!@#, not to mention potentially Tour-ending for the poor guy who hit the deck. But hurling a bottle o' wiz on Cavendish on the time trial course (or, of course, *anywhere*) is just *disgusting*, not to mention unsanitary, classless, dangerous, and beyond even the grossest bodily-function-obsessed gang of third-graders' capacity for vomitous gnarliness. Plus, it's Veelers' fight, so if *he* wants to pee on Mark Cavendish after Mark twice-tweeted and called Veelers to apologize, he--nope, it'd just make *him* a pig! So since it apparently needs to be said to the restrained paragons of virtue lining (and smearing) the course, NO THROWING URINE AT THE RIDERS YOU BASE REPULSIVE ANIMAL SKANKWADS! Oh, whatever happened to those innocent halcyon days of roadside freaks just randomly wandering into the course, or a gentlemanly resolution of disputes by whanging the other guy over the head with a bike wheel after the finish line...Anyway, here's the cause of the controversy, and no, it is *not* an incitement to anything!

Save Euskaltel!: no, they haven't gotten a stage yet, though they will (bite me! will so either!). But they've already worn the mountains jersey placed high in a sprint for heck's sake *and* been in every breakaway that's stuck, so why the !@#$ do I need to campaign every year to Send Me Dough to Save Euskaltel? Worse, the alarm's being sounded just in time for transfer season, so Movistar and what's left of RadioSkank can poach the most bankable and ergo team-saving talent, *again.* Okay, maybe we won't collect enough to save the squad, but we *can* raise enough to get absolutely blotto should this horrid nightmare come to pass...look, here's Samu in the polka dot jersey, *now* can someone step up and sponsor the squad? Save Euskaltel!

1 comment:

Velocodger said...

Sigh. Yes, Cav shoved him on purpose. That sort of thing happens all the time, and usually nobody falls. But, because Cav is sorta little and Veelers is (really) big, he hit the brake hoods and Veelers went down. When you watch the video you can see Cav bow his head,and I read his thoughts. (Oh shit-he went down!)
Life is not so simple as urine-throwing fuckwads wish it were.