Sunday, July 15, 2012

Mutiny! Sabotage! Deadbeats!: the Tour Heats Up

Mutiny on the Team Bus!: yep, ol' Wiggo's got reason to be worried: stage beast/mountain maid Chris Froome is openly unhappy playing lieutenant to team captain Bradley Wiggins, and wants his own ship should the Tour de France have, y'know, uphills next year. Let the bidding wars begin--and start yer planning for 2013, Brad, this guy knows your strengths and weaknesses pretty well by now!

Road Rage!: first it's some moron setting up a tea party in the race course, then it's some eejits firing flares off at the maillot jaune, and now it's even worse: jack!@#es strewing tacks or nails on the road to screw the riders and change the race. Was it me, or did poor Cadel look like his fist was just lookin' for a face to meet? Good thing for the perp Evans didn't figure out on the spot who tossed those things on the tarmac! While we're at it, good on Wiggins Sky (and I guess even the rest of the initially-reluctant team bosses) for deciding to not take advantage of the situation, because especially if Wiggins is gonna take it anyway, a good minute-odd of the final victory margin in Paris would've been tainted with bad-karma skankdom. Well, by chaos' end, Hincapie was disgusted, Tejay was bewildered, Wiggo was proposing to pack the hooligans off to a soccer (sorry, dear Brits, I know it's really "football") match, and sadly, hardworking Kiserlovski, who's really animated the Tour so far, was out with an ugly collarbone snap. As to the fans, what the !@#$ is wrong with you people--what next, one of those wily net traps that'll sweep up half the peloton 20 feet off the road in a tangle of limbs and derailleurs? Just let these guys try to get home in one piece already!

Cheapskates!: meantime, over at RadioSkank, the implosion continues, as Johan Bruyneel adds insult to Jakob Fuglsang's already nasty screw-over by not only barring him from any more serious races, but also by not bothering to even pay him--or the Schlecks, or even the team's season-salvager Cancellara--for his humiliation. Oh, man up, Johan, don't take out *your* own well-earned problems on innocent riders--at least accept the legacy-killing end to your career with *some* dignity!

And, Yer Roundup Shorts: so Thor Hushovd's still down and out, Frank Schlecks' *still* bitching about Grand Tours having downhills, and the sprinters still can't stop themselves from sissy-boy slapfights in any forum whatsoever. Aw, heck, can't *anyone* give us fans a break this season?

2 comments:

Doug said...

And, speaking of skanky antics, Sanchez' attack just as Sagan took a bite has gotta be up there too. Peter was surprised- not by the move, but that Sanchez would choose to attack using such a shithead tactic. He's young, he'll learn what assholes his fellow racers are-by hard experience. Peter's refusal to snivel afterwards shows who is the better man.

racejunkie said...

Oh, no, I like LL Cool Sanchez, I didn't see that part! Another illusion shattered...