Monday, July 16, 2012

It's Your Tour de France Rest-Day Roundup, Part Deux!

1. Debate continues over whether Pierre Rolland knew what he was doing when he took off as Wiggo put out the call to slow down for Cadel. The first time--sure, it was a result of the post-massacre chaos. The second? Punk-!@#, honey!

2. Simultaneously, everyone just get the hell off Tejay Van Garderen about Cadel and "the look." He's young, he heard the call, he made a mistake, it's not like he told Cadel to !@#$ off so he could keep his white jersey safe. Enough already!

3. Anyone who throws tacks on a race course when guys can actually get killed in a crash is a total bastard. Remember, the guillotine is a French innovation, dirtbags!

4. In a corollary, it may not be now. It may not be next week. It may not even be til the very last moments of the universe as we know it. But Cadel will find you. And he will kill you.

5. This is totally irrelevant to the Tour, but Tom Boonen crashing with a broken rib just a couple weeks before the Olympics really sucks. He's had such a great comeback season, and I was *sure* he was gonna kick Cav's !@# at the Olympics!

6. Peter Sagan's a smashing rider, but getting that pimped-out "Tourminator" bike like 2 days into the green jersey competition was just obnoxious by the sponsors. Jeez, cool yer jets til the competition has conceded defeat!

7. You're very, very clean. We get it! You're a very, very good sport. We get it! Great as Wiggo is, does he *really* need the relentless self-promoting halo campaign?

8. You've got *one* day to break Froome, Cadel. One. And I hate to say it, but neither you nor BMC can do it alone. Nibali, however, has been offering to help you bushwhack 'im all race. Do it!

9. I'll give it to RadioSkank--to be this much of a train wreck and still be able to head up the team competition's not too shabby. Who'd'a thunk even just a few years ago that Johan bailing on his own team would've been the best thing for it?

10. When Jens Voigt thinks you're a wanker, you might as well just retire from the sport. Nice work, Pierre!

11. I can't tell if the French are winning so much this year because everyone else is clean too, or because they're just dirty again. You?

12. Finally, I'm still really, really pissed about Samu'. !@#dammit!

1 comment:

Doug said...

Tommke. I know. Ouch. That was bad news. Phooey.
Wiggo, hmmm....? He'll probably go into politics someday. I really wanted to like him, Pierrot too. Oh well.
Hey, maybe Wednesday something will happen to disturb my mid-race nap.