Sunday, July 24, 2011

Yer Podium Roundup; Or, Get Yer Dave Z Action Figure Here!

Swell Cadel!: okay, I'm a wuss-weenie, seeing Cadel fighting off tears on the podium choked me up. But while the Schlecks have to be fair handled their maillot jaune loss with grace and cheer since yesterday, I did feel better straightaway watching 'em all together with Cadel right there on top. Bad racejunkie!

What the !@#$ Is Wrong With You, Versus?: there he is. We love Samuel Sanchez of we love Euskaltel-Euskadi is proudly taking the podium in his polka-dot jersey. And what are *you* disrespectful clowns doing? Ignoring it and interviewing Mark Cavendish, with his giant head blocking even the big spectator's video screen! How does he "feel" about winning the green jersey? Happy, you asshats--now get your priorities straight, and give Samu' the glory he deserves! Here, I'll fix it: Now don't do that again!

Garmin Just Gets Cooler: sure, despite Jonathan Vaughters cruelly screwing Thor "Mountain Goat" Hushovd out of a decent hotel room, it's hard to imagine how much more bitchin' the squad could get at this Tour, but as bone-broken crash-out Dave Zabriskie comforts himself for missing the party in Paris by hitting the show at Comic-Con, Garmin does their man a solid by including a life-size paper cut-out of 'im on the podium at the best-team presentation. Take heart Dave Z--I'm sure you'll be back there at the end for real in 2012!

Speaking of Who's Not on the Podium: and, watch out Schlecks and freakin' learn to TT if you can (and on my end, it's nice to be right for once)--I see that Contador *is* in fact not riding the Giro in 2012 (a wholly uncalled-for jerkfaced slap to a beautiful and of course far superior race that openly loves you, though, Alberto, unlike the hissing French, by saying you'll "never" do it again) to focus on winning the Tour. Looks like someone's after your record there, Lance--let's just hope he's got the same luck getting completely off the hook for, uh, nothin'!

All Right, Cav Fans: finally, while it's true Cav could barely get up a mountain on a helicopter, much less two wheels, and I normally don't have that much use for sprinters and their constant TV-ho ego trips, he *did* work his butt off on the intermediate sprint points, and, more, over a bucket o' inevitable stage wins solidified his well-deserved rep as the fastest bloke on two wheels. Congrats, Cav--and next time Samu is getting accolades, back the hell off the stupid press and bow to him like he deserves!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

VS. is run by a bunch of ass hats. And where the f#%* did they find Liam McHugh?

Anonymous said...

As soon as I saw them interviewing Cav when SS was making his way to the podium, I thought of you RJ! But, what a damn good race this year!

The virtual DZ was the best. Go Garmin :)
-JD

Doug said...

The Tour coverage on free TV here in France is fantastic, with an hour of pre-race drivel and and an hour of post-race coverage, including daily historic footage, not to mention a great tribute to Laurent Fignon. Their commentator Laurent Jalabert has more real bike racing experience than all the clowns on Versus rolled together. I missed the chance to see the last stage, but climbing both sides of the Galibier yesterday in the sunshine was worth it. Now if I could just learn Flemish and watch the classics on Sporza, that would be the icing on the cake!

Rosemary said...

Doug, I watched the Tour last year in France. It was nice not to hear all the Lance-talk and not be bombarded with so many commercials (I did like the Tyler Farrar commercial though).

Last year Fignon was still a commentator, but his voice sounded so hoarse and honestly, I didn't recognize him at first either. Perhaps I will try to search for the tribute on the web.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for recognizing Samu Sanchez. He got totally shut out of the post-race interviews on German Eurosport. It was all Cav, Cav, Evans, Cav, Cav, and Cav.

I was also impressed with the Europcar team. The riders were a bunch of no-names who nobody thought had a chance of doing anything. But Voeckler hung in there in yellow long after people expected him to fade and Pierre Rolland got the white jersey in 11th place along with an impressive stage win.

Anonymous said...

Wasn't Vs that cut the dots to talk w Cav. Was live on a Euro feed and same thing happened. Unfortunate, yes, but not "our" monkIes responsible for it. On the plus side, only the podiumgirls' dotted dresses were more distressing to my eyes than Samu's dotted shorts. There, I said it. (But we do *still* love Samu!)