Saturday, July 23, 2011

Holy Crap Cadel Evans is the 2011 Tour de France Champion!

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Oy Oy Oy!: Let's face it, this has been one giant freak show of a Tour de France: half the faves crashed out in the first week, Samuel Sanchez just beat Fabian Cancellara in a time trial (shut up! go to hell!), Cunego came out of nowhere, the French didn't suck--what the !@#$ is next, Thor Hushovd taking two Grand Tour mountain stages? Anyway, you may not think Cadel rides pretty, and you may not think the man rides exciting, but the man indisputably does ride smashing, and huge congrats to Cadel and our friends Down Under for Australia's first-ever Tour de France champion! Oh, *look*, the man is crying--woo-hoo class act Cadeeeeeeeeeeeeeel--*that's* karma smackin' you right in the !@# and on top of the podium, baby!

Yer Tour in Mini-Re(well, technically still Pre-)view: so before Cav takes the stage tomorrow and thumps his chest like a gorilla, why don't we take a moment to review: Voeckler rode like a brave obsessed monster, Pierre "New Hope of French Cycling" Rolland did the Alpe d'Huez more than justice, we love Samuel "Holy Crap He's the Polka Dot Jersey!" Sanchez is King of the Mountains, and, because I'm not a whiny little beeyotch (today) like that emerging smug little snot you-know-who, I'm gonna give a big warm "well done!" to the first-ever podium brothers Schleck, who did, after all, only tank the time trial after a humungous recent solo breakaway and a truly mind-boggling amount of snippy braggadocio and smirking on Andy's part, and heck knows both of those take effort. But Andy's still very young, and unless he's gonna play Ullrich to Contador's perpetual (if less annoying and more well-rounded) Armstrong, his Tour will come. Plus, if Jens Voigt says so, it has to be true. Forgive me my doubts Jens, you're still a god! Still, since that's clearly the last time Alberto's gonna !@#damn ride the Giro--all I can say is, Andy, you got one year to get happy goin' downhill!

Next up: interviews, yap, photos, yap, the final podium in Paris, and yer ultra-prestigious fanatically-coveted 2011 Tour de France Racejunkie Awards!


PJ said...

Next year Contador will wear yellow in Paris. For sure. He won't take this loss lying down.

Anonymous said...

"I'll be on the podium with my brother, that's fantastic, everybody is happy," Schleck said. "Of course I cannot jump in the air, because I was supposed to win the Tour. Congrats to Cadel, he fought until the end, rode a perfect race. So did I but only one can win," Schleck said.

That was Andy's problem...he felt somehow he was entitled to win this year. He's fortunate Contador had so many problems or he may have been 3rd this year.

I agree with PJ, Contador will win if he races next year.

Tusher said...

Thrilled for Cadel, but I so, so wanted Tommy-the-housewives-favourite to make the podium.

Go Cav tomorrow!

em, that's not a grammatical sentence, but you know what I mean.

Rosemary said...

haha Tusher...I bet Tommy is the housewives favorite! I am agreeing with everyone here....PJ, if he races next year...I see Contador winning. And Anon, I agree, Andy asking his competitors to chase, seemed weak.

Oh wait....I might be routing for someone other than Cav at the finish. Was there a sprinter who actually made the cut both days in the alps? Or anyone as crazy as Vino to pull a move like that?

karl's jr. said...

Great post! And Orange and polka dots are a great combination

Anonymous said...

Evans = winner
Schleck = whiner