Sunday, March 27, 2011

Tommeke's Back, Baby!

Woo-hoo Tom!: yes, our big babelicious Boonen, who'd actually have preferred to be at E3 Prijs this weekend but took Quick Step's demands to the contrary like a pip, is finally back after a long, glum post-illness bonk (though weren't you *so* proud to see Tom do *so* well sticking it out for *so* long in Milano-Sanremo while still recovering from the flu?) with a wholly unexpected--and beautifully played--pure sprint in Gent-Wevelgem. His reaction? More'n pleased, but not a typical sprinter-wank about it. Okay, Tom, you've eaten way enough humble pie the last couple seasons--time to come back and enjoy the main meal at the grown-ups' table from now on! Oh, and since I swore not to use that photo of you in a gladiator skirt anymore, lookin' good (with today's champ Frank Schleck no less) boy!

Yaaaaa-aawwwnnnn: okay, Fabian Cancellara is brilliant. But speaking of E3 Prijs, am I the only one who pretty well turned off the race in resignation and boredom when he took a flyer off the front with 16k to go and Haussler jerked off his wheel like he'd been actively glued to the tarmac? Forget "bike doping"--obviously, while the Spanish peloton was spending the entire winter dru--relaxing, the guy was in some secret medical clinic in Switzerland having his entire lower body replaced with titanium during the off-season. Cripes, Fabian, you can't at least *fake* a little fatigue for the guys behind you so we've got *something* fun to watch while you're riding?

Don't Mess With the Cavendish: meantime, ever-class whinemeister Mark Cavendish was less than thrilled to be taken out in Gent by some Movistar clown while he still had the legs to go for it--though what he was doing at the ass-end of nowhere in the peloton at that point in the race still escapes me--but, to his fine credit, managed to keep the post-race cursing to a minimum, unless I missed a whole bunch of Manx slang for "!@#$%ing Movistar mother!@#$ing !@#$er!" Here's the video: Aw, don't worry, Tusher--I know your boy'll come back blazing by the Tour!

Jeeeeennnnnnsssss!: fine, I know Frank Schleck actually won the Criterium International this weekend because the race organizers made a special if incomprehensible point of completely screwing the great Jens Voigt with the course, but it *was* dandy to see (1) Jens full-on attack from a gazillion kilometers out and (2) we still love Andreas Kloden taking another race, particularly since, when he popped around Samuel "Holy Crap He's the Olympic Gold Medalist!" Sanchez at Paris-Nice, I was just too heartbroken to really root for him. Anyone else notice since the glory days of T-Mobile and RadioSkank that when Klodi hasn't a dedicated owner like Lance or Jan he's seemingly mentally incapable of not kneeling to, he can actually pull off quite a fine race in his own right? While we're at it, next guy (like Frank) who does that !@#damn double-fingered chest thump like some grunting boss-man gorilla crossing the line gets his !@#$in' arms ripped out of his shoulders by the urine-test guy. Capisce?

Sisters Doin' It For Themselves: finally, congrats to the great Emma Pooley for her win at the spiffy Trofeo Binda today. Now--say, Versus or Universal--can we get some footage of women's racing where and when we can actually see it?


Tusher said...

My poor, poor Cav- the bad luck has to run out soon. Leaving nothing but good luck for the Grand Tours.
But I am concerned at what appears to be an early showing of male pattern baldness.
Must be the stress of having to restrain himself in all those post-race interviews.

Isn't Emma an absolute star?
And why can't we have more women's racing?

Bruiser said...

If he whitens his teeth, no one will notice the hair!