Tuesday, March 01, 2011

Oh, Hush *Up*, Alberto!

La-La-La-I-Can't-Hear-You!: look, I'm with dear reader PJ to a certain extent on this--Contador is thrilling to watch on a climb, and the boundless satisfaction I got when he kicked Lance Armstrong's !@# and Lance was a graceless third-grader schoolyard beeyotch to him on the podium was a cold, cold glass of lemonade on a hot, hot day. But for %^&*'s *sake* Alberto, if you don't want UCI and WADA appealing your case (which, to be fair, they're gonna do anyway), *don't* go telling em' to "read the whole file" and "trust the process" just like you do. Get it, boy? If they're gonna back off on you at all, they need an out that doesn't make 'em look as shamelessly enabling and sycophantic as they've always been with La--that is, as the entire freakin' nation of Spain has been with you. You yap, you screw that up. You want to ride, let 'em scam their *own* bul!@#$ excuse so they can plausibly claim total neutrality when they get pounded for letting a big name off the hook, *again*. Capisce?

Ask and Ye Shall Receive: Joe's right, it *is* an interesting story--the return of erstwhile old-school pro/Olympic gold medalist/Colorado-scene eccentric Alexi Grewal. Now, I confess, back in the day, my knowledge of the 80s US cycling scene was pretty much completely limited to "Wow, Greg Lemond is kicking spindly Euro !@#!". But after catching up on what I've missed, I gotta say, I'm intrigued to see the man back in action. So does his inspiring story and imminent comeback--sorta like Chad Gerlach, whose tragic-yet-heartwarming tale of talent, freefall, and redemption apparently concealed a truly astonishing pervy doucheosity--x-out the fact that by some accounts the guy was allegedly a massive tool when he was at the top of his game? I mean, let's face it, if sheer character dictated success, Jens Voigt'd be, well, even more of a god than he already is, I'd be completely out of an already-lowly blog, and Lance'd be in an unventilated sweatshop scrubbin' the six-hour skank off George Hincapie's chamois somewhere. Anyway, since I don't have to ride with him, I'm wishing him all the best on his return. Gerlach, however, is another matter. Facebook and ye shall sow, pig-boy!

Game On, Baby!: last but not least, as the Classics finally get underway in earnest, and Thor, Tom, Philippe, and George get ready to cause their fellow riders some serious pain, fastest-man-on-wheels Mark Cavendish has announced his season plan: he's ready to take on the Giro, the Tour, the Vuelta, the Classics, and that mother!@#$er who deliberately got into the 12-items-or-less line at Whole Foods with 13 items. Me, I'm expecting another smashing Milano-Sanremo and, of course, a ripsnorter of a post-race insults-to-everyone interview whether he wins or not. Good luck Cav--and especially lookin' forward to seeing you at the press conference! Here he is with the win in 2009:

1 comment:

Joe said...

I know Grewal was controversial and abrasive in his time but he seems to have come to terms with his past. My hope is that the cycling community will move beyond his admitted mistakes and welcome him back as a peer. I find his story quite inspiring not because of the successes but rather because of the humanness. He is not perfect, nor does he claim to be. This is very refreshing in a time when cycling struggles to be authentic.