The Race of Truth Spills Its Guts: Lookin' Good, Purito!

The Mountains Are Comin', The Mountains Are Comin'!: okay, Froome actually went pretty well today despite everyone dope-smackin' 'im for choking before he even got off the bike, considering he's gonna c--damn Insult Moratorium!--and Alberto, though as far as I can see not quite the time trialist he was when he first suddenly improved overnight in the discipline like a freak, definitely looked at home for maybe the first time this Vuelta. But for my money, the most exciting ride of the day by far was Joaquim Rodriguez, who not only smashed everyone's expectations even on a hilly course by only losing about a minute on the day to his main rivals instead of his usual, y'know, week'n'a half, but also set himself and all of us up for a thrillingly close mano-a-mano with Alberto in the high passes that could, if no-one bonks spectacularly, leave this race a nail-biter til the very end. Does *anyone* think this year's Tour de France holds a candle to this spectacular race? Meantime, it sure wasn't happy time out there for our dear Igor Anton, whose recently stated predilection for Norwegian black-metal music (got me, man, I just report this !@#$) might more productively be replaced by some nice upbeat techno music in his warmups, and for dear defending champ Juanjo Cobo, who might still get back in the game for maybe a stage win or two (bite me! will too!). Anyhoo, good on Alberto for not having to waste Saxo's limited energy on defending the red jersey for a few more days, the time-losin' crash early in the Vuelta is gonna be least of Valverde's problems this weekend, and Froome--there's a brief respite tomorrow with still a steep nasty dig of a Cat-3 final climb that the other three shouldn't be willing to kill themselves over, if I were you I'd grab any little gap you can!

Now *That's* Just Weak: look, the big boys doping to win a Grand Tour, or heck even some dipwad little race that might bag you a better paycheck next year, I get. I don't approve of it, I don't respect it, I think it blows unless I personally like the rider doing it, but I get it. But what the !#$% is with this season's scourge of freakin' Masters nimrods gettin' busted for drugs? Is it a desperate need for even modest hometown glory? Are they looking to take some high honcho's place in the big leagues when he falls on his dirty cheating World Tour !@# (well, syringe)? Look, you clowns, moral questions aside, as the Armstrong case proves, successful doping is a rich-and-well-protected rider's game--so suck up your limitations, and keep it to the energy gels and Red Bull you eejits!

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