Sunday, April 10, 2011

Thor Hushovd, What the !@#$?

What a Roub(aix)!: so he had the legs to grab Cancellara's wheel, and, miraculously for just about anyone, stick with it. And I wholly understand he couldn't remotely help chase with faithful sidekick Johan Van Summeren up the road. But !@#$, when you look at the quality of the pursuing group, and even leaving aside the colossal carnage caused by the moron race motos, what the !@#$ is we love Thor "Holy Crap He's the New World Champion!" Hushovd doing at the !@#-end of nowhere behind his (excellent and deserving, but still) domestique by the end of the course anyway? Crap--Vaughters, can't you stick *something* legal in this boy's Wheaties? And I can't even bear to think about poor Tommeke, for whom I was also rooting, standing by the side of the road picking his nose like an eejit for an hour and a half on the Arenberg. Look, thanks to the smashing (and I somehow doubt inadvertent) spectator camerawork, you can even *see* how uptight his !@# is: Aiiigggghhhhh!

Woo-hoo Klodi! Aw, *Rats*, Samu'!: meantime, for the second straight stage race in a row, I was torn between serf supreme Andreas Kloden and Samuel "Euskalteeeeeeeeel!" Sanchez, as Klodi's impressive--and I won't say, because I am still so happy to see him not being *someone's* doormat beeyotch, perhaps, um, well, astonishing--win at Vuelta a Pais Vasco overshadows Samu's stage win and his miserable meltdown in the final time trial. Jeez Klodi, can't you just go back to whacking the Grand Tours for heck's sake? Wait, that won't help Sanchez...dagnabit! Oh, and even though his basically calling the blameless Gavazzi a thieving wanker was perhaps less than entirely gentlemanly, Oscar Freire's relegation was bull!@#$:

You Suck, Versus!: speaking of Roubaix, what the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks is with Versus--to whom I am, to be fair, grateful for showing anything on two wheels and without horns or rodeo clowns even with their beloved paycheck Armstrong gone--showing Paris-Roubaix 36 hours after the actual race had already ended? I mean, really, folks, "100% Real Hunting"? Show some guy going mano-a-mano with a pissed-off hibernation-starved grizzly bear, and we'll talk. 'Til then, Paris-Roubaix's more survivalist. Versus, I'm tired of watching 6 hours of racing in freakin' Dutch--treat this sport with some respect, for heck's sake!


Rosemary said...

I had to stay away from all computers to avoid accidentally seeing any news about the race before Versus showed it. The Boonen and Chavenal crashes had me reaching for the headache medicine.

What a surprise ending... and apparently Vansummeren finished on a flat tire! (I'm sure he will have better luck with his post win proposal than Emanuele Sella did.)

Tusher said...

Utterly fabulous race, even although my heart broke for Tommeke.