Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Cat. 2s, Cavendish, and Carnage

Vino's Back! (Again, and Again, And Again): yes, one can almost feel the excitement of the cycling narcs (for no reason! no reason whatsoever!), and the thrill o' the crowd, as completely reformed Alexander Vinokourov takes off on a hilly Vuelta a Pais Vasco stage for the win and, to the Schleck brothers' and Contador's likely interest, Ivan Basso withdraws to head home for some serious medical tests on what the hell has gone wrong with him this month. Dang, Ivan--forget that saint and fair-play !@#$, it *clearly* ain't payin' to ride clean!

Oh, the Agony!: all right, *now* what the hell do I do--while indisputable god Jens Voigt sez race radios are a must, and I must defer to his total stompin' perfection in all things even though I actually think otherwise, no less than Lord o' the Commentary Phil Liggett has weighed in with a slightly conflicting (and for me, a preferable) view: if safety's the issue, and the riders are to ever think for themselves, then that's all--all--they can be. Well, great--*now* who the !@#$ are we supposed to bow to? There can only be one sovereign at once, dag nabit--perhaps a jousting match between 'em is called for to settle the whole thing?

More Things That Make You Go Hmmmmmm: y'know, it's great to see Benna-jet back in the game after a truly crap 2010. But I don't care *what* the hell kind of course it is, or how great his form's just become--Daniele Bennati beating Dave Zabriskie in a time trial just plain makes me nervous. Please don't say it's the steak, please don't say it's the steak...anyhoo, congrats, I'm sure, Daniele!

(Un)Pretty Prijs: and, it was a nasty end, but a great win for the lately beleaguered Mark Cavendish, at the Scheldeprijs today. Down like a brick: US sprint king Tyler Farrar. Aw, heck! Still, it looked darned unlikely anyone else would've taken it, and it's awful nice to see you get your legs back under you, Cav--now all you have to do is kick in with your vicious tirades of verbal abuse aimed at innocent compatriots, and you're 100% on for the season! Here's the carnage: Get well soon, everybody!

It's A Bike Porn Contest!: finally, it's with great regret that I report that, due to "work" and "I have no particular desire to be mistaken for a bigger freak than I actually am", I recently missed my local bike porn film festival, but, in honor thereof, and because I love you all, we here at racejunkie are officially taking up a contest for, and a collection o' euros to hire, the Cyclist You'd Most Like To See In A Bike Porn Flick. Me, I don't know if the laws of physics allow Tom Boonen to bare his butt for the cameras for more gigabytes than are already currently available on the internet, but depending on who you vote for, I'm willing to ask. Reader(s), name yer poison, and yer contribution to the pot!


Tusher said...

Dear Racejunkie, you need to ask?!?

The delectable Mr Cavendish, natch.

Anonymous said...

It just has to be bootylicious Tom

Rosemary said...

Bike Porn? Cipollini!

Anonymous said...

Well, Cipollini did say if he was not a bike racer, he would have been a porn star.....and does he still owe back taxes? Isn't that why he rode for Michael Ball?