Thursday, July 15, 2010

Next, On Versus: Extreme Cagefighting With...HTC Columbia?

Damn, and you thought Robbie "Head-Butt" McEwen had the lock on violent intra-sprint altercations (and if you *still* can't see where Andre Greipel had his ear sewn back on after Robbie chomped it off, *I* can't help you): now harmless lead-out man Mark Renshaw's actually gotten thrown out of the Tour for defending crybaby supremo Mark Cavendish's honor with his skull, so badly that even resident peloton Little Lord Fauntleroy Tyler Farrar was pissed off. Let's review the tape: Oops, that *was* Robbie. Let's try this one: Yep, class way to win, Cav--just have your remaining lead-out train whack Tyler Farrar right on his broken wrist with a pedal wrench next time, why don't'cha?

Baby, You Were Born To Run: well, good luck to the owners and managers of US Postal during the Armstrong years, 'cause Lance, apparently rather concerned there's maybe something to those "systemic team doping" allegations, has decided to completely abandon them to the Big House via his complete crap assertion that, not only was he not an owner of the team--certainly not too onerous to ascertain--but, and this has got to be a joke, he was such a pathetic powerless ignorant minion with regard to its management that he might as well have been the towel boy's cousin's daughter's sister-in-law, or, infinitely worse, Andreas Kloden. I call bull!@#$ Armstrong! No, you hadn't won the Tour de France 7 times yet, but you were already a Great American Hero, a colossal commodity cash-cow, and a relentless narcissistic control-freak. No offense, but how the hell else did Postal get run like a heavily-armed dissent-and-die banana republic dictatorship to serve your every whim, if not by you? And am I the only thinking that if I were his bestest friend in the world Johan Bruyneel, I'd start getting ready to be pimped to the narcs like a $5 gigolo? Look--there goes Lance with his ol' partners after him!

Don't Give Up, Thor! Finally, we love Thor Hushovd is crushed for his loss of the green jersey in the sprint to Ale-Jet Petacchi today, and while I can't blame him for being skittish for once in the midst of a sucker-punch bar-brawl far beyond even the usual egomaniacal sprinter punk-assness, I do have to say, don't feel too bad Thor--Cav's won three stages now (and, to his deserving kudos, has just broken the sprint-win record for the Tour even though Zabel is still far superior) and he's *still* on the rump-end of the green jersey points, so you *go* you big Norwegian lug!


Rosemary said...

Just curious, did Phil and Paul try to defend Renshaw as they did with Cavendish last year?

I have to say that although I do not understand all that is being said on French TV (when I am able to watch it) how wonderful to not be bombarded with Lance-talk and commercials on Versus!

Is there still Lance talk on Versus?

racejunkie said...

Yes, until he went into Tyler's line--they blamed Dean for deviating and forcing Renshaw's head-butts.

Oh, they're still talkin' Lance on Versus--what they oughta be talking about is that he's coasting and not doing a damn thing to help Levi. Shocker!