Thursday, May 01, 2008

License to Ill

Listen All Y'All, It's Sabotage: In a piece sure to be a massive financial boon to discreet, fly-by-night genetic testing outfits everywhere, the NY Times reports that an impressive percentage of folks contain a gene mutation that allows one to scarf truly startling amounts of testosterone and still test negative for doping. Hmmm, could this, rather'n a mere sartorial love of the Van Dyke, be what's causing the recent fad in facial hair in the peloton? WADA, if the less hirsute among the boys suddenly start making appointments at the spa for serious manscaping, or the women mysteriously start singing bass, watch out!

The Downside: however, for those not so freakishly gifted by the cheating gods, the French have just enacted legislation whacking any rider caught in possession of doping products with up to a year in jail. Jef D'Hont, put down that poison pen and stop pimping Jan Ullrich's dessicated carcass to all comers--looks like the peloton's got a lucrative job for you once more! Of course, anyone caught *trafficking* drugs gets up to 5 years in the big house--but hell, it can't be any worse than the ignominious exile you're living in now!

A Mixed Musette: well, it's good news and bad for Danilo "Il Killer" Di Luca, as CAS upholds his largely off-season three-month suspension for his association with childhood physician Carlos Santuccione, including tapes of such obviously hypothetical conversations as how and when to inject EPO for maximum benefit (surely, say, for that extra boost to catch up on all that springtime yardwork). Still, Danilo, though "disappointed," gets to defend his Giro, as nothing untoward happened with the boy last year, and to that end, Simoni, Di Luca, Ricco', and a host of other GC threats braved teh lingering snow and crap road conditions to try out the likely decisive mountain time trial to Plan de Corones:



Forza Gilberto, and screw you RCS for hosing Garzelli! Oh, what does it really matter, they're all gonna be left in the dust when Ivan Basso hits the road in '09 anyway, since he was already strong enough to kick their !@#es when he wasn't doping in the first place...

On a Roll: finally, a quick note for either of my faithful readers who may be in vague proximity to Boston: the inestimable, and downright hilarious, Bob Roll is gonna be at Landry's bike shop on May 9th, and it's a damn lot more'n we're ever gonna see him on Vs. this season, so for my money, it's worth the trip. No, I'm not a paid shill for Landry's, nor Bob (though I wouldn't be averse to that, if offered); yes, go to the Landry's site for the lowdown. See you on the 9th, woo-hoo!

3 comments:

strbuk said...

Racejunkie, the story the NY Times piece was based on is a couple of months old. Not only that, but the Times neglected to mention that not only can some people use T and not get caught, but that others get a false postive from no use of T at all!!! Funny how the Times neglected to point THAT out isn't it?

str

jrdbutcher said...

Racejunkie,
Both the NY Times and you missed the other half of the story. As strbuk wrote, There is a good portion of the population that also tests false positive in the screening process to which you are referring. See more details at TbV. The false positive and false negative rates seem to add up to about 57%. Doesn't sound like a screening test that should have been approved by WADA. That sort of failure rate would be embarassing to most, maybe not WADA?

randie said...

are you familiar with toto? go to nyvelocity.com and there is a link at the top. i think you'll enjoy it.