Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

--Not!: So I see Dick "Dick" Pound, exiting stage left for presumably nobler pursuits than his disgusting reign of selective torment, has taken his fond farewell to leadership at WADA as an opportunity to excoriate the world's governing bodies, particularly cycling's, to show some stones on doping, snarling that "it's a 20th century problem being dealt with by 19th century organizations." Far be it from me to correct him on what century we're currently in, but meantime, our boy continues that, with regard to the Tour in particular, "this year was a disaster...[the incompetent enablers over at UCI] must have known they were looking into the abyss." Um, weren't they already actually bloodied and broken at the *bottom* of the thing? Pat "Dick" McQuaid, however, not to be outdone, lams into the Spaniards yet again for their inexplicable coddling of the Op Puerto scum, particularly Alejandro Valverde, who is clearly "Piti", as well as their embrace of the dirty doping culture in general, which nationalist rant was proven correct yet again as police search the Freiburg University clinic, home of T-Mobile's 2006 systematic team doper doctors-to-the-stars, only to find, however, that the place had already been cleaned out by "many men carrying out briefcases from offices" thanks to months of lucky lead time and leaving Jan Ullrich in the clear yet again. But you keep persecuting the Spaniards, Pat!

DiLucapalooza: and, poor Giro king Danilo DiLuca confirms he's been kicked out of Liquigas, though he gamely notes a lucrative offer from Bjarne Riis over at CSC, which claim was immediately denied by the paranoiac cleansters (like Bjarne) in question. Still and all, Di Luca remains hopeful, saddened by the "really unfair" decision to jack him out of his Pro Tour title and the Worlds but largely expressing pleasure with his earlier season and optimism for the next. Oh, come on people! I'm not saying let's just give the boy a pass for associating with a known notorious cheating weasel. But really, given the rest of this season, isn't he just about the least of the peloton's problems? And what the hell, Saunier Duval--now that Mayo's been cleared, you're really gonna wait til UCI scrounges up someone who'll claim a positive B (at this point, let's face, it's more like a "Z") sample to formally give him the team slot he clearly deserves?

Klodi, Klodi, Wherefore Art Thou, Klodi?: and, in contract news, Puerto-snagged Spanish riders continue to find humble yet happy homes with Portuguese continental squads, which begs yet again the question, what the hell happens to Andreas Kloden? Relegated to monkey domestique to Bruyneel's darling at the Tour when he ought to be let off the leash to take the whole thing, or at least his usual spot on the podium? Pacified with a crap team for the Giro or an exhausted one for the Vuelta? Or is he, as Anonymous has kindly pointed out, really headed to Milram, which certainly can't give him the GC backing he deserves but at least won't waste him babysitting someone else? Or, worst of all, will he retroactively get sucked into the T-Mobile/Astana vortex by virtue of his previous associations, and be relegated to some also-ran local squad and *totally* hosed? Free Klodi!

Il Grande Giro: so the route's set to be unveiled in December, but already, word's out that it's headed into Lugano for its international foray. Let's see, Basso's still out one more year; Garzelli and Simoni are yanked on Continental squads, at least for GC, DiLuca and perhaps even Piepoli's participation is in some small doubt; the sprinters are no overall threat; Bettini has all the motivation in the world (especially after this year's Giro) to blow apart the field for fun and stage wins in his last year, but isn't a GC man; Savoldelli's future is unclear; holy moly, if Saunier Duval'll field him a half-decent team and he can pull off more'n a middling time trial for once, that little rugrat Riccardo Ricco' might actually have a chance! Still, so long as you'll be cavorting about at your new home Gibo, one more stage win and I swear this time you're free to head out on your mountain bike!

Lance to the Music: finally, cycling hits the mainstream press again, not over anything of actual substance like Floyd Landis' and Iban Mayo's due process interests being grossly pimped by UCI in a vicious revenge orgy, or that, say, world champs were recently crowned, but because, in one of the squickiest celebrity slut news reports in recent memory, Lance Armstrong was allegedly observed in a New York nightclub making out with a just-barely-out-of-jailbait-range lunch-starved frogfaced Olsen twin. I'm so glad to see US cycling coverage improving! Y'know, Lance, bad enough you lamed out of supporting the riders who so selflessly crushed their own aspirations to serve you hand and foot for seven years by completely ignoring 'em at the '07 Tour in favor of a freakin' *golf* tournament (and of course, this is not to downplay all your tireless cancer work and all)--but this, *this* ditzbag crap is what you were too busy doing to be bothered to find a new sponsor for Discovery this season?! Aaaaiiigggghhh!