Sunday, November 04, 2007

One Is the Loneliest Number

Go West, Young Man!: hell, Kloden, go *anywhere* else, as gazzetta's reporting that two-time Giro king Savoldelli is signing with his old boss Bruyneel at Astana for one more year, which means Andreas, with Bruyneel virtually obligated to field a halfway respectable squad for that, then pulling all the stops out for baby Contador at the Tour of course, you and Levi are going be left fighting for scraps at the Vuelta, if you're even lucky enough to recuperate in time after Johan has you blast yourself apart in Alberto's utter service--get the hell out of Dodge to a team that'll do you some justice, I beg you! Of course, with the teams neatly sewing up their rosters as we speak, particularly with regards to their major GC contenders/cash outlays, the poor boy's probably already totally yanked. What a !@#$%^$! waste of talent!

"Dope" Is Right: well it turns out that not only were those clowns at T-Mobile systematically doping riders during 2006, but they also damn near killed Patrik Sinkewitz doing it, when his pre-stage blood transfusion had to be tanked at the last minute when someone fortunately noticed that the blood had gone bad--apparently, started clotting--and could have slaughtered the boy had he used it. Damn T-Mobile, do we really need yet another rider in the peloton keeling over as a result of "a previously undiagnosed medical problem" before he's out of his twenties--cheat all you want for all I care, since Pat "Dick" McQuaid's still gonna blame the Spaniards for the entire sport's problems even if you jam a needle in their !@#$@$ right at the start line, but can you at least get your boys through their regimen in one piece?!

More Spanish Cheating: and, I see tireless (and tiresome) guardian of purity Dr. Werner Franke has gone to court to remove his injunction against yapping how Jan Ullrich paid 35 thousand euros to Fuentes, and for damn good reason sez he--it wasn't the payment, just the deposit, and in fact Ullrich coughed up 120 thousand instead. Haven't we heard this all before? Meantime, Franke's attorney promises a stellar cast of witnesses, including not only usual suspect/mentor-from-hell Rudy Pevenage, but also repentant sinner Jorg Jaksche, Dr. Fuentes himself--now there's a guy I'd trust to help you, Werner--and, most surprisingly, comely pinup stud Ivan Basso. Um, not to belabor the obvious, and leaving aside the likelihood that unless Ullrich and Basso shared a cab over to Fuentes' offices it's highly doubtful he actually observed anything--but if the best anyone could do is to make Basso gack up an admission of *attempted* doping when he was being offered a bazillion euros to sell his own story to the tabloids, what the hell makes you think he'd pimp himself or Ullrich to you for nothing?

Ridiculous Rumor of the Day: Mario "the Chest" Cipollini to reclaim his glory days by coming back to the peloton at Rock Racing, blown off as a casual Interbike joke by Cipo's rep but coyly supported by perpetual publicity ho Frankie Andreau. Oh, sure it's crap--but wouldn't it be more fun that listening to Robbie McEwen whine?

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