Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Tinkoff Gets Staffed, Euskadi Gets Stiffed, and Sky Gets Dissed

I Heart Oleg: yep, Alberto Contador's team boss Oleg Tinkoff is on the rampage again, mocking Nicolas Roche for bailing for crap squad Sky, claiming he's got 4 or 5 of the non-suckage Sky riders signed for Tinkov, and generally proclaiming (probably not inaccurately) that Sagan is gonna kick everyone in the nuts in the Classics next year. But don't worry, Contador, he totally loves you too--if you hadn't crashed out, you'd have wiped the floor with that amateur Nibali by a good 3 minutes and, of course, you *are* highly likely to pound the field next year. Of course, Oleg himself put in a lazy 130k today and twitted his tired legs to prove it, so we presume that despite some weenie broken tibia you're doing the same. And pay no mind to that little savior-o'-the-team's-Tour Majka nipping at your heels all of a sudden--I'm sure he'll stay a happy domestique for you the next few seasons. Just ask Brad Wiggins how great that works!

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!: and, let's bow our heads for a moment o' sniveling misery for last-Basque-holdout continental squad Fundacion Euskadi, all finished up at the August 13-17 Vuelta a Burgos and no dear Euskaltel for the youngsters to move up to. Damn, they can't *all* keep going to Movistar--anyone else willing to chip in a few bucks to start 'em up again? New directeur sportif gets a free pair of socks!

It's Le Tour! No, It's La Course! No, It's La Route!: well, whatever it is, it's not a freakin' women's three week Grand Tour yet, but back in France, we love amazon speed demon Giorgia Bronzini has bagged a fine stage-3 sprint at La Route, breaking (however briefly) Marianne Vos' record of consecutively winning everything ever and proving, yet again and in addition to its name, why Team Wiggle-Honda rocks. Now, add a Team "What-the-Hell-Catastrophically-Happened-To-You-Guys" prefix to Team Sky, and we've *really* got truth in advertising. Anyhoo, forza Giorgia grande campionessaaaaaaaaaaaa!

The Vuelta's a-Comin'!: last but not least, everyone who blew (or won) the dear Giro or crashed outta the Tour--and I stand by my opinion that anyone riding the Vuelta as some sorta grim sighing back-up plan oughta be thwapped--is finalizing their plans for the Vuelta, with Chris Froome waxing poetic on his next-year's Tour de France return and, as you know, Cadel Evans having just smoked two high stages in the Tour o' Utah. Me, I'm rooting for Purito and Samu'--as to the former, anyone who only rides the Tour 'cause they crashed out of the beautiful Giro when they were also intending to do the fabulous Vuelta gets serious brownie points from me!

No comments: