Thursday, August 21, 2014

It's Yer Vuelta a Espana in Preview Part Tres: the Sprinters, and Everyone Else We're Psyched About! #LaVuelta

Woot Woot! It's V-1!: oh yeah, it's finally just about time for the fabulous Vuelta, and having covered the course, the GC boys, and the climbers, it's time for the Sprinters, and Everyone Else We're Stoked About! And no, Cav, Marcel, and Andre aren't here, but a pretty bangin' field of fast men still is, so let's check 'em out:

Tom Boonen: yep, prepping for Worlds, I presume. A tough Classics season, but a perpetual class act--and power-threat. Aupa Tommeke!

Peter Sagan: no, he's not a pure sprinter--but neither are Vuelta sprints always perfectly flat, and after his crap stage-winless Tour, and with Oleg Tinkov's eye (and big fat wallet) on 'im, Sagan's hungry for redemption and podium glory. Just let Elia have a chance once in a while!

Nacer Bouhanni: yes, it's the new wave of French Riders That Don't Suck, and boy, did this guy have a smashing Giro d'Italia, taking stage after stage and giving hope to a despondent cycling nation once again. He's rested, he's bad-!@#, and he's ready!

John Degenkolb: who's Giant-Shimano's sprint hope, when Kittel's not around to dazzle the crowd with his speed (and hair-do)? Right, big John Degenkolb, a formidable competitor on his own. 5 bunch sprint wins in 2012 in the Vuelta alone--eat his dust boys, if you can get that close!

Roberto Ferrari: bored with all those guys staying upright in the last 50 meters? Find a little carnage exciting because you're a completely sadistic soulless tool? Well Roberto Ferrari's your man--just ask Mark Cavendish, who's got the good sense to be riding elsewhere. Hold your line you jerk--and let the best man, not the wankiest one, win!

And 'Nother Guys!: finally, there's a truly bitchin' assortment of roleurs, puncheurs, and guys we just plain like at this year's Vuelta, including Fabian Cancellara, Philippe Gilbert, Ryder Hesjedal, Tony Martin, and--perhaps in a bid to get a heretofore-unconvinced squadra azzurra boss to let 'im on the 2014 Worlds team--incomparable beach babe/bon vivant (and even rider) Pippo Pozzato. Come on Pippo, show us some fireworks--*something's* gotta upstage all those lurid selfies!

Well, that's your Vuelta preview--here's the official route video, and now time to get this party *started*!

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