This Post Is Not About That Unbearable Wanker Lance Armstrong

Yep, We're Slammin' Johan Instead: so the verdict is in (and out) on Team RadioSkank: Johan Bruyneel !@#$ed over the riders *and* the team in 2012, and they're all a whoooooooooole lot happier now. So does this mean we get to seem some results from Fabian Cancellara, Andy Schleck, (we know we'll see results from Jens), and spankin' new Astana signee Jakob "No ProTour Races for You!" Fuglsang? Well, I gotta say, I'm still a little skeptical about Baby Schleck, but if Fabian stays upright as he's usually inclined to do, and Fuglsang (who's got a highly entertaining assessment of Johan's past-n-present management style) doesn't mess with big-star Nibali, we're gonna be lookin' at some pretty exciting Classics and Grand Tours this year. Allez Fabian--and Jakob, time to prove up to your hype, unless you *want* to see what Vinokourov looks like when he's pissed!

Son of Kong (McQuaid, Whatever): and, for those of you (and I know there are many) who just can't get enough of UCI head tool Pat "Dick" McQuaid, now there's more:David McQuaid, Son of Pat, has taken a management gig for the first, and very fine, Pro Continental squad in Azerbaijan. Hey, that's great news--and it'd be even *better* news if you could find a nice new job for yer dad! Aw, c'mon, Pat, surely you're ready (if not about to be forced) to move on from that dull ol' UCI by now...forza Synergy Baku Cycling Project!

Cadel Throws Down the Gauntlet: all right, he had a crap Tour de France--hell, a whole crap season, thanks to a bum virus--but Cadel Evans is back, baby, and aiming for the podium in 2013. I'll admit, I used to scorn Cadel as a dull wheelsucker, but the last few years he's proved himself one of the toughest damn guys in the peloton *and* someone who's not afraid to take charge and destroy the field. More, how can you *not* love a man who'll threaten to pulverize a journalist who !@#$s with his dog? Go Cadel--and bring Thor Hushovd back along with you, I beg!

It's the Vuelta a Espana, Baby!: finally, get ready for the official presentation tomorrow of the fabulous Vuelta a Espana, with Alberto, we love Samuel Sanchez, and a host of wannabes in rapt attendance, and a course that's reputed to be even more sadistic than last year's. Aupa Euskalteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel--eat their dust, Valverde!