Sunday, June 13, 2010

An Honest Question for UCI (For Once)

And No Honest Answer Forthcoming, Of Course: all right, UCI, I may find your stupid disputes, petty favored-rider coddling, and total impotence annoying, but here's a sincere question for you: you've been crowing over the Italians' fearless pursuit of Alejandro Valverde for the last two years, so why the heck, with the Italians having just equally fearlessly kicked a whole squad out of the Baby Giro for allegedly having a bunch of suspicious medical supplies on hand, haven't you had the stones to take on Lance Armstrong's Astana (hell, even Caisse d'Epargne, and we know you already hate them) for allegedly doing the exact same thing (allegedly!) at the mildly more well-known and prestigious Tour de France last year? Now, before the fanatic Armstrong acolytes come out to screech at me, I'm sure, in addition to the whole rumor being entirely and completely false, either (1) one, some or all of the best athletes in the world at Astana were in fact so grossly debilitated by ailments every day that they couldn't make from the team bus to their hotel rooms without utilizing a surfeit of bizarre blood-related equipment or (2) some silly soigneur simply misread the word "aspirin" off the daily grocery list and inadvertently came home with the kind of stuff meth addicts usually have to break into hospitals to find. So truly--if this *did* seem legit enough for even the hated French to investigate, why isn't--particularly amidst their allegations of you schmoes being soft on dopers--UCI demanding that Johan's squad,like other teams not actually currently proven to be engaging in wrong-doing before it, be preemptively cut out of the Tour this year? Not that I'm suggesting it oughta be--I'm just genuinely curious. Well?

Down To Business: meantime, Contador certainly made his point to his former best-buddy-ever on the Alpe d'Huez this week--as a really smashing Janez Brajkovic clearly earned the overall--so with Lance looking on fine form at the Tour of Luxembourg and now at the Tour de Suisse, the question is, with Astana perhaps somewhat weaker as a whole but RadioSkank having likely lost crucial mountain goat Haimar Zubeldia to his broken wrist, who, a few weeks out, has got the edge for the Tour in July? Me, I'm so hoping either we love Levi Klodi or Horner is allowed a stage win instead I actually don't much care where their GC contender lands, so long as either Baby Schleck or even that aggravating rugrat Contador wipes the floor with 'im, but I gotta say, if Vino and Pereiro can hold it halfway together, I'm giving so far the slight bet on Alberto. So, in keeping with my fine tradition of losing choices, allez allez Schlecks!

Reading Is Fundamental: finally, class, for your summer vacation I'm going to assign you (because I'm too cheap to buy it, and I'm still saving up for Simoni's book, besides which the brash child ought to have *some* consolation for losing the green jersey at the Tour de France to Thor Hushovd *again* this year) Mark Cavendish's wildly-anticipated and splendiforously-received new tome, Boy Racer: My Journey to Tour de France Record-Breaker." While again, I can't personally speak for the contents, I *can* say on the "Surprise Me!" selection I pulled up on Amazon, I did learn more than one had ever anticipated about a top pro cyclist's breast-feeding and potty-training competitive streaks. Congratulations on your literary debut, Cav--and far better an autobio from you than another, say, Landis book!

1 comment:

PJ said...

Allez Alberto!