Sunday, June 30, 2013

It's Yer Post-Carnage Stage 2 Tour Roundup; and, The Giro Rosa Takes Off! #GiroRosa

I am Stuck on (trademark) Brand 'Cuz (trademark)'s Stuck on Me: yep, the post-stage 1 body count is in, and aside from Johnny Hoogerland having the Crappiest Luck in the Peloton, again, most of the guys managed to show back up for stage 2 with whole identifiable portions of their team kit visible beneath the mummy bandages. Which brings me to this question: why the !@#$ was Tony "Forget the Bruised Lung, He's Got a Friggin' Concussion!" Martin allowed to ride today? I'm no doctor, but it's still up to his DS to allow or forbid 'im to ride, and if I understand right, optimal brain function is, y'know, highly useful when it comes to split-second reactions like taking a corner, avoiding a crash ahead of you, or not plunging off 3000 feet off a moutainside on a descent. Am I the only one who thought how freakin' scary it was that time Johan Bruyneel let Chris Horner ride after he whacked his head on the pavement and he barely even remembered the stage he'd just ridden afterwards? Please guys--if it involves their brain, take 'em out of the race. And get well soon Tony Martin!

Surprise!: so despite the efforts of an increasingly pissed-off Sylvain Chavanel, the dithering dipwad break managed to cannibalize itself right outta a guaranteed victory, all except an incredulous RadioSkank's Jan Bakelants, who stuck it out to the end to smashing head-slappin' effect. Not shocking: some nimrod already letting his annoying yapper dog jump out into course, selfishly (if wisely) saving himself and leaving the dog to its instincts as they both jumped the hell outta disaster an instant before it rolled over 'em. It's called a *leash*, people! Or does "the first guy you take down gets to whang you over the head repeatedly with a bike stand" seem clearer to you? Not as happy: Peter "Now He's the Hulk?" Sagan, who almost reeled Bakelants in, and a completely zonked and still-ticked Mark Cavendish, who twitter-lammed into the race organizers for wholly screwing the sprinters outta their rightful points yesterday. And what the hell was Froome up to--or *did* he really psych out Contador into total helplessness tonight with that show of strength towards the end? Here, (almost) Flat Fido:

It's the Giro Rosa, Baby!: and, Kirsten Wild took a dazzling sprint over Marianne Vos, but Vos still--for reasons I assume have to do with intermediate points--grabbed the first maglia rosa of the race, and tomorrow, Wild'll and the other fast 'uns'll have another chance to take it off her. With all respect to the fearsome rest of the peloton, better grab it while you can--is there *any* terrain that Vos can't win on? Still waitin' for video of the finish (geez! even podium photos to post!), but here's the happy winner: Forza Kirsten! Wait, here's *some* video (I swear the sprint is in there!):

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