Ronde and Ronde/What Goes A-Ronde, Comes A-Ronde

Swiss Army Knife: all right, I had no interest in counting Cancellara as a (oh, fair enough, the) favorite after he snipped at poor ol' Stijn Devolder, but he whomped our dear Tommeke fair'n'square so even I can't much begrudge that. But boy, you can't say the same for Matti Breschel, who, in the midst of trying to jack team leadership and huge wads of money from some other, post-Bjarne team, has now lit into his mechanics for giving him Stuey O'Grady's ride during a bike change. Shut up, Breschel--you should be *honored* to ride O'Grady's steed whether it fit you or not! Over at the women's Ronde, the weather was nastier and the race was a heck of a lot closer:
Nice score for Belgium by Grace Verbeke at least!

Alessandro, Alessandro, Alessandro: oh, Petacchi. First you have that idiot poz for huffing a liter of salbuterol, albeit after a sprint which is clearly the stupidest !@#$in' thing I've ever heard of. *Then* you bust your hand punching a team bus, Cav Boonen and even that jailbait little Bennati start kicking your !@# in every sprint, you get investigated for tax evasion in Monaco like everyone else in the peloton, the whole thing starts slipping away from your near-geriatric legs, and just when I was about to pull a Tom Boonen Image Rehabilitation Project on you, you get your form back, start not sucking entirely on the hills, *and* start grabbing stages in the Giro like it's 2004. So now your friendship with Bernucci, who apparently had enough drugs in his house to stock Team--um, forget it--for a week, gets you back in hot water? Fortunately, not only does Bernucci swear they belonged to his wife--and I'm sure she had good reason for taking 'em--nothing was found in your pad. Y'know, if it weren't for the fact that I'd then have to despise you for being a coward like Ricco', I'd say run away, Ale-Jet, run away! Man, I *hate* feeling sorry for sprinters--here we go, at least you can always be a supermodel like DiLuca if you have to!

Basque to the Future: finally, in loving memory of Iban Mayo's completely bull!@#$ trashed career (like it's any of your dang beeswax I'm still in denial?), it's the Vuelta a Pais Vasco all week, baby, and it's time for the still-winless Euskaltel (damn, guys, you're starting to look like a French squad, pick it up!) and the fabulous Samuel Sanchez to start instilling fear into the climbers of the peloton. Also bitchin'--both big and baby Schleck'll be there. Sure, it'll be nice to see if Andy's finally recovered, but aupa Samu--and watch out for him in the Tour, Armstrong!