Friday, April 09, 2010

Lookin' Good for the Hell of the North, Boys!

Especially 'Cause There's One Big Threat Less of You Now: yep, things are lookin' even better and better for the smashing Paris-Roubaix this weekend, particularly our big-fave studpuppies-o'-pain Boonen and Hincapie (no, I'm not mentioning Cancellara, !@#dammit, I still feel sorry for Tommeke), as 2008 World Champ Alessandro Ballan is suspended by current squad BMC for his (alleged) involvement in the spankin'-new Lampre doping scandal. Me, I think this is an egregious witchhunt--I mean, everyone knows cycling's cleaned up its act since that 2006 Operacion Puerto nightmare!

Ow, My Stomach!: in what I'm sure is a total coincidence, meanwhile, Lampre big-shot/Classics man Damiano Cunego has pulled out of the Vuelta a Pais Vasco with a disgusting stomach ailment, which means either (1) he's got a disgusting stomach ailment, or (2) 90% of Lampre is going to quit racing entirely in the immediate future with 'stomach ailments'. Guess which! And, because I'm genteel, and genuinely don't want to be unkind to someone in the uncomfortable throes of wholesale intestinal explosion, I won't even mention the potential amusement value of the fact that Cunego's been known to sport a giant "I'M DOPING FREE" tattoo on his arm: Aw, *I* believe in you, Piccolo Principe!

Who *Was* That Masked Man?: over in Narc-land, a pack of jailbait Ukrainian sell-outs, I mean whistleblowers, have apparently given up the goods to the French on the latest masking agents for EPO, which means, I suppose, that if anyone else ever turns up with Danilo DiLuca's Giro d'Italia Princess Bride testosterone levels at any future races, the officials won't just buy that he accidentally mistook his girlfriend's birth control pills for Tic-Tacs. Um, is anyone else thinking these guys are lucky the peloton's too busy with the Classics at the moment to schlep all the way to Ukraine to find 'em and give 'em a major beatdown?

Roubaix, Schmoubaix: finally, lest we all get bogged down in some silly cobblestone thingie coming up on Sunday, let's take note of what *really* matters: we love Samuel Sanchez took Euskaltel's first win o' the year right in its home stomping grounds in the Vuelta a Pais Vasco! Here's how his first blow in the fight for the podium at the Tour de France (yeah, that's right, he'll be there baby!) landed:


Orbea Girl said...

Fantastic win by Sammy and I too will be hoping that Tommeke wins tomorrow.

Tom said...

Cancellera topping Boonen head to head three in a row? I love saxo and fabian, but . . . probably not.

I like Katusha's team for this race, too.

Tom said...

I think that the way that thing reads it isn't meant to be understood as, "I'm not doping." but as "I'm doping at no monetary cost to myself." I guess the "for" is supposed to be understood.