Sunday, July 26, 2009

No Thanks For Winning Us The Tour de France, !@#hole!

Can Someone Please Put the Lid on Astana, Already?: Let's get straight to it: I have never seen a team be so seventh-grade-alpha-girl-bitchy, so bitter, so angry and so publicly nasty over the hideous fact that someone on their team just won the Tour de France. Wah, wah, wah! Look Johan and Lance--quit !@#$in' crying about it. When Contador saw (waaaaaaaay too late, but then we've all pretty well conceded the kid's yet no rocket scientist) that his team boss and The Second Coming were gonna jack the best stage racer on the planet out of the unqualified team leadership he (1) deserved and (2) that any other team anytime anywhere ever would have rightly and unquestioningly given him, he asked to be let out of his contract. Eat this, Lance--*your* Bruyneel, the one who guided you to seven Tour de France wins, the one who hired the best riders in the peloton to solely serve your needs, the guy who was right there with you every step of the way while you proclaimed in all confidence that you would win the Tour again this year, said no. You expected Alberto to roll over like a dog for you like every other rider you've ever worked with anyway--well, too bad, he didn't. The kid is not to blame for it. Arrogant? Yes. Irritating? Punk-!@#? Yep. A few pieces short of a completed puzzle? Sure. A likely drug-stuffed skankball? Well, he was implicated in some weenie little Op Puerto thing that nearly brought down the sport, but he's probably no dirtier than any other recent starlet. Suck it up. Even if he had worked for you as selflessly and nobly as Levi, Tyler, Floyd, George, Popo and everyone else ever did, he is still flat-out matchless, even by you at the moment, in the mountains and (and I still believe there's a creepy, Herasesque quality about this) even a bit faster in the time trial. And while you, Johan, and certain other riders were publicly backstabbing and demeaning him as recently as yesterday--snorting about his disruptive presence on the team, dismissing him with an "I'm gonna ride my race, he's gonna ride his"--Contador has kept his mouth comparatively shut 'til now about the fact that he's been treated like total crap and let, unlike some folks, his legs do the talking.

Enough. We all know what you've accomplished and even those who can't stand you at least respect you for it. When Contador tests poz for dope, you'll be vindicated, and go into full-on crowing nyeah-nyeah mode about how pure you are and what a little lying scumbag he is. Until then, you'll never have to ride with anyone who won't drop to the pavement for you in obeisance again. And likely, to be fair, neither will Contador. You'll have an even playing field, even if, beyond all reason, you feel you didn't have one this time. So next year--keep this vicious backbiting gossip crap out of the press so other riders who deserve accolades and respect can actually get the ten seconds of press time they themselves so richly deserve, and throw down the gauntlet on the road instead!


Anonymous said...

Amen. You've said it all. And, as a postscript, I hope Contador never tests positive and I hope he beats Lance's you know what next year.

I love your blog and think you are very fair in your assessments.

La Gazzetta Dello Bici said...

What a great post Ive been trying to put something together for LaGazzetta but I dont think Ill bother Im just going to direct everyone here.

Speak soon I hope

Mary said...

Yeah, I was really disappointed at Astana's crappy behavior at the finish today. Contador rode his guts out to win his fourth consecutive grand tour for this team, and they were so busy pouting that Lance did not win no one was even there with him! Sure, he may be an arrogant ass, but hell - isn't that kind of the defining characteristic of a grand champion? (For example, see: Armstrong, Lance.) It's not necessarily a bad thing for a hugely talented athlete to be arrogant.

I just kept thinking that if Contador had been on Saxo Bank, or Columbia, or even Euskatel! they would have been right there showering him with well-deserved congratulations. The poor guy even had to listen to the Belgian national anthem before the Tour figured out how to play the Spanish one for him!

Next year will be interesting, but I'd be pretty surprised if the #1 and #2 spots changed next year. (Well, barring that positive test results we all hope is not hanging out there for anyone!)

Anonymous said...


We all now know, after reading various press today, that what we thought was going on at Astana was definitely going on, only probably much worse for Contador than we'd thought. I'm so glad a 3 time Grand Tour winner (4 now!) did not roll over for Lance.

Eddy said...

Wow. I love your blog, a good laugh is tough to come by at work on a Monday morning, but you've got to cut some slack here. Who played the team-mate role better. I agree with the assesment that little Bert (whose time trialling skills seems to have taken on a Basso-esque quality) was not trying to drop who doesn't love Klodi. But Bert's a numbskull who flies up mountains. I'm not sure you could ask for a better ride from Armstrong as a teammate. There is some credit due. Put pretty little Bert in Cadel's shoes and he'd be crying in a ditch like little Mayo.

bill hue said...

Alberto just isn't much of a tactician. He'll need a good one and then be willing to follow directions if he wants the most success he can get. Without one, he will still win some important races because he is just that darn gifted.

Say what you will about Johan but the guy really knows his stuff, so him Lance and the team they put together to turn themselves inside out to win will be formidable.

Basso had a great team and still rode isolated to discovery Channel years ago. I see the same thing for alberto unless he wises up.

Anonymous said...

Someone had to say it! Thank you for being so blunt. Contador and the others on the team deserved better. They all worked their butts off for practically no public praise from management.

Hoping that Contador is a clean rider though.

Anonymous said...

Fantastic post, thanks a lot! Summed up everything. Can't understand how some people think Armstrong was a good team mate. His mind games and public disparagements of AC are not what u expect from a team mate. He may have done the team job on the road but that was because AC saw the writing on the wall pretty early and took matters into his own hands, at which point LA had no option but to support. And how do people not think he is a good tactician? To survive this tour, he had to not only outthink the opposition but also his own team mates. And he did it all with his mouth shut. Congratulations are in order.

Anonymous said...

It's all getting worse with the war of Lance tweets vs. Contador Spanish press. They both need to chill. As far as Lance being superior, Contador has won all 3 Grand Tours, so sorry, not buying it. Lance trained specifically with one goal in mind. Contador is more well-rounded.

Eddy said...

One thing to note - I said a "better ride" from a team-mate. Lance spent most of his mountain time marking Contador's GC threats that had been dropped, only attacking when it made sense, tactically, for both him and Contador. Off the bike, maybe not so much.