Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Ceeeeeelebrate Good Times/Come On!

I Fought the Law And/I Won: as beloved party-boy sprint king Tom Boonen smokes the field at Tour of Qatar (Cav who?) for his inaugural win of the season,a Belgian court, sympathetically opining the poor boy's been "punished enough," has decided not to criminally prosecute him for his little coke poz(es), and while I agree he's been a naughty, naughty boy (and you all know you like him that way), unless he's pausing 2km out from the line with a mirror, some white powder, and a razor blade, I can't see how one can begrudge the Brad Pitt 'o' Belgium a little after-hours entertainment, right? Best of all, Tour de France organizer Christian Prudhomme over at ASO is warmly welcoming him back to the fold, and, if Speedo's gonna stick with wholesome Olympic icon Michael Phelps despite his pot imbroglio, I'm guessing Tom gets to keep his little leather gladiator skirt and the rest of his cash-cow sponsorships as well. Now let's party--but remember, just stick to the booze, okay? No, Tom, you *cannot* have the keys to the Lamborghini back...

No More Mr. Nice Guy: so while the Italian national champion's squad gets left off the centenary Giro's start list for heck's sake, sad-sack Amore & Vita's been dissed for the start list at the somewhat smaller Gp Costa degli Etruschi, and team boss Ivano Fanini knows exactly who's to blame: yep, it's the scumly nefarious Paolo Bettini, hell-bent on vengeance for Fanini's perfectly harmless suggestion to the entire planet that Paolo knew, in advance, when and how surprise doping controls were being conducted at last year's Worlds. Hey, what adored icon-of-a-nation could possibly mind an assertion like that? Il Grillo, to his everlasting credit, kept his cool, merely replying that the decision to tell the team to blow was made by committee. Damn lucky for you, too, Fanini!

OMG!!!!OMG!!!: As Gazzetta Dello Sport's almost indecent love affair with comely comeback Ivan Basso continues (the snow can't stop him! He trains on his mountain bike!), despite the inexplicable announcement from Liquigas that our never-doped indomitable hero, tho' certainly back to his completely unenhanced and medically-unaided 2006 form, is nonetheless gonna have to "co-captain" with Franco "Don't Tread On Me" Pellizotti at the Giro, comes news you can use (and swoon over): Ivan's got a Twitter feed! And even better, it seems to be in English. Go here, take a long leisurely detour to the gallery to melt away in those dreamy, dreamy eyes, drop him a note (click on "scrivi ad ivan"), hit the twitter icon, sign on up, and get ready for breaking news on his latest massage *and* his latest doping controls. OMG!!!! Oh, Jan Ullrich. This smashing celebrity rehab could've been you. *How* could you have !##$ed things up so badly?

Cycling In The News: last but not least, as Lance's dazzling presence inspires actual commentary by the non-cycling sports press, comes a spectacular gem from National Public Radio, which not only mentioned the Tour of California, but listed four main protagonists--Lance, Ivan, Floyd and Tyler--and their doping histories (once tested positive; attempted to dope; tested poz for, um, "steroids"; and blood-doped). The crack analysis: "at least it should be fast." Lookin' forward to some ace play-by-play announcing at the ToC!


Mary said...

Ha! I missed that NPR report, but with this kind of humor I'll definitely have to check it out. :)

I've started following all the cyclists on Twitter, and it is pretty amusing. Basso does Tweet in English, as does Axel Merckx - pretty impressive to me! Christian, Big George, Z-Man, and - of course - Lance all Twitter. It was pretty cool to hear what they had to say during the Tour Down Under and their training camps.

Now, if only Contador and Levi would start on Twitter; I'd pay good money to see the comments these guys and Lance threw back and forth! It would make my race-watching experience much more exciting. :)

Anonymous said...

You expect accurate reporting from NPR? No. They are dedicated to the sensational, superficial repsponse. Hence the current situation. Oh, well, beats doping.