Tour de F!@#$, Will This *Ever* End?; and, a Newsflash!

"Old Guard" My !@#!: okay, can we all just suck it up now and confront the fact that doping is not just the long-ago province of dessicated old dead guys like Ullrich Basso and Beltran but is *still*--gasp!--part of the mentality of the morally superior snow-clean "new generation" as well? Let's face it--cheating skankballs exist at every level, in every age, of this sport--the babies, usually, just don't have superstar Ricco's impressive disposable income. (Which begs the question, where *are* the rest of 'em getting the cash resources and medical assistance for this stuff, because surely, as Festina T-Mobile and Liberty Seguros [ancestral home of you know who!] have all shown us, the teams *themselves* are never involved.) What's more, the odds that there are a good number of lucky bastards in the Tour retiring to their hotel rooms this evening and thanking god *they* aren't performing well enough to concern the narcs seem, to me, beyond ginormous. And if Ricco was using a "third-generation" EPO specifically being used to evade the current doping controls--and I can't imagine that's the only thing in development--doesn't anyone else think it's rather a bad sign for the peloton that it seems there's a significant market to be found for such heinous substances now that the "young guys" have all taken the antidoping crusaders' message to heart--why would they care if they could snort up a new performance-enhancer and beat a doping control, if they believe it's wrong to even try? But then of course, as Pat "Dick" McQuaid didn't hesitate to crow after the Beltran and Duenas busts and we all know, it's really just the disgusting "culture of scum" Spaniards that're still doping, and everyone else, particularly the Italians now that "attempted doper" Ivan Basso has become the pretty pretty new UCI spokesman for clean sport, is off the juice. Oh, wait...

So, Riccardo "Naturally High Hematocrit" Ricco's reaction? Well, first, he's sent his sister Melissa and fiancee Vania on the attack, which is I will say is likely to get him deeply mocked on the playground since I won't say it makes him look like a total wuss, but second, even Il Cobra finally found enough spine to proclaim "But I am innocent!" As he should be presumed, of course, and that's one useful lesson the repulsive Floyd Landis farce has taught us--but am I the only one with a sinking feeling that he's not gonna be able to pull off a clean B sample here? Meantime, the fanatic Ricco tifosi, pissed off at his stupidity and arrogance as much as for his actual (alleged!) doping, are even more enraged that the too-clever French, (most) Spaniards and most of all that damn Armstrong are riding around happily while their fallen he-*wishes*-he-were-Pantani sits dejected in the clink. Nothing like a conspiracy theory to deflect the pain of yet another Great GC Hope hitting the skids! Don't worry tifosi, you can still root in good conscience for Petacchi..no...Piepoli...hmmm...Di Luca...um...

While we're at it, if St. David "I Loved Doping Til I Got Busted" Millar doesn't shut the !@#$ up I'm really, really gonna get irked. Can't *anybody* muzzle this egomaniacal holier-than-thou wah-wah-ing hypocrite publicity slut?

Anyway, I'm glad to see we've finally got a scandal free Tour in 2008. Can we give Michael Rasmussen back his freakin' maillot jaune now?

Newsflash!: so why did Saunier Duval alone pull out of the "zero tolerance/teams will pay for their individual riders' actions" Tour, when Triki's Liquigas and Duenas' Barloworld are still on the course? That's right kids, the Italian press is reporting that the team is under suspicion of systemic organized doping, with none other than '07 Giro suspect/proud holder of an official UCI asthma med Therapeutic Use Exemption Leonardo "Gaaaaasssssppp!" Piepoli the latest emblem of the in-house scourge. Now, don't get yer chamois in a twist, you poor oppressed directeur sportifs, we all know the teams have ever done no wrong...