Tuesday, April 01, 2014

Sure, He Mighta Doped, But at Least He Didn't Dope and *Still* Suck at Descending

Not That I Have Anyone In Particular In Mind: tho' there is of course news from the Planet of Totally Pointless Non-Penalties, as ex-Lance lieutenant/descender par excellence Paolo "Il Falco" Savoldelli gets popped with, and vows to appeal, a two-year post-career ban for his interactions with helpful trainer-to-the-stars Dr. Michele Ferrari, who, an indignant Paolo proclaims, he would bring his own kids to for treatment. So would I, if I wanted 'em to be successful pro cyclists! Still, I'm inclined to cut Paolo a little slack here, because okay, maybe he was part of the repugnant poisoning and stinking maggot-ridden corruption of our beloved cycling that nearly flushed the whole sport down the toilette, but hey, at least he had some serious down-mountain bike-handling chops, unlike A--Achoo! I thought I was about to sneeze! Yes, yes, Il Falco's very very bad, I know...

DePanne-ic at the Finish Line: meantime, I'm calling bull!@#$ on this entire controversy over whether Peter Sagan intentionally grabbed the first stage from loyal teammate Oscar Gatto over at the Three Days of DePanne, when from my crappy eyesight, it sure looks to me like Sagan actually put his hands on the brakes and tried *not* to win in hopes Gatto--a very fine rider himself--would snag the win from Peter's lead-out. Look, he may be a pig and a show-off, but a stage thief the boy ain't! See for yourself:

Love Hurts: on a related note, here's speedy get-well wishes for the good half the peloton that's already been clobbered out for a huge chunk o' the season by the cobblestones, including Sky-boy Ian Stannard with a broken (well, pretty darned cracked) back, Andre Griepel, who just upgraded his mortal hardware to a titanium collarbone, and countless others damn near mummified with tapes and wraps (even fair Pippo's delicate hand!) Not even counted: poor guys like Mark Cavendish, Giro captain Richie Porte, and hosts of others, absolutely flattened by assorted disgusting body-wrecking stomach ailments. Doesn't anybody just get a *cold* anymore?

Yer Disturbing Pro-Cyclist Tweet o' the Day: finally, I don't know *what* the !@#$ this is that AG2R's Carlos Betancur's tweeting, but I'm sure *praying* it's for his CPR certification class. Like this sport doesn't already have enough freaks?

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