Off With His 'Ead: Alberto Contador Is Guilty!

Y'know, the world has come up with some pretty sick !@## punishments over the years-- drawing-and-quartering, Iron Maidens, sticking your head in stocks on the public square and letting the populace throw rotten vegetables at you--but for my money, the worst punishment of all has got to be, not CAS's two-year ban and retroactive stripping of results for Alberto Contador's poz for clenbuterol, but sentencing the poor doping sod to two straight years of listening to Pat "Dick" McQuaid's perpetual and obnoxious crowing of bringing a legendary champion that he doesn't like down. Damn, that monstrous harpy's shrieking would make me wish I'd given Andy Schleck the Tour he-also-unfairly-attacked-Alberto-in-but-inexplicably-got-a-pass-for too! Anyway, more to come of course (!@#$in' "day job!), but important statements have already been issued in the case, with Pat "Dick" keepin' it real with a simple singsong "ha ha!", and CAS stating, "There, we don't look like such *ussies now, do we!"