Wednesday, February 10, 2010

The Qarnage in Qatar

Boulevard of Broken Collarbones: holy crap, it's only a half-week into the season on a totally dry course and already these guys are breaking their bodies like it's a sleet-driven day on the cobbles at Paris-Roubaix--can you imagine what's gonna happen when these poor saps *really* hit that !@#$? Except Stuey O'Grady of course, who'll still be blowing across the line 10,000 years from now when he's actually been clinically fossilized and encased in a tar pit like a wooly mammoth. Man, I know these boys are just shakin' the long off-season out of their legs, but please, let *someone* half worth watching still be upright for the races that are *really* worth killing yourself over!

What Is So Freire As a Day In June?: a victory this early in the season, that'w what, baby, as both the fabulous Oscar Freire and the suddenly resurgent Alessandro Petacchi are already taking their first (Freire's) and gazillionth (Petacchi's) sprints o' the year. Since I'm normally deeply annoyed by the other sprinters' constant braggadocio, and last season was particularly lame to watch with Cav just slaughtering everyone (except Thor of course), it's actually nice to see some action this year amongst the same crew who were just clearly utterly psyched out in 2009 by the studmuffin o' speed. Allez Ale--and Oscar and Tyler and Thor, natch!

Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom: meantime, speaking of fast men on the rebound--and let's hope our boy stays that way--here's a lately-glum Tommeke taking his own victory at the Tour of Qatar:

Sky's the Limit: on the subject of Qatar, it was really cool that Sky snagged the team time trial and all (nice work hosing Cervelo, Haussler!), *must* Brad Wiggins have been such a punk-!@# about it to ex-BFF Garmin? Look, normally I really like him--particularly since he's been relentlessly smacking around that unctuous crybaby hypocrite St. David Millar all over--and I'm genuinely rooting for Sky, as it's rather a blast to see a new Brit squad try to take down the usual unbeatables in their first season out. But especially after you did bail on these guys at the last possible moment, was it necessary for you to be such a wench after the stage? Show some class, say you're sorry, and go back to playing nicely on the swings--after all, who's to say your new squad won't need your old pals' help at the front some day?

Product Pimp o' the Week: no, I'm not getting paid for this, tho' for the record (and the wallet) I *do* accept bribes, but Dave Zabriskie's chamois cream for the ladies is out, apparently without the "tingling sensation" that has caused both joy and consternation for the gentlemen. Happy (and chafe-free) riding to all!

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