Friday, June 27, 2008

The Devil Wears Spandex

3, 2, 1...: as our delicate hothouse flower Iban Mayo gently raises the wish that a decision on his idiot case might be made sometime before his actual clinical death from old age, Floyd Landis at least gets to enjoy The Crappiest Weekend Ever, as CAS kindly announces that they're gonna wait to formally announce their near-inevitable decision to jack him til Monday, giving a good two days for an alcohol-induced blackout to take effect before he has to hear the verdict. Trustbut, I'm pulling for your hero!

Ah well. If we never get to see the boy ride again (and that'd really be a damned shame), at least he'll have a second career as a model along with Tom "Gladiator" Boonen:

Good luck Floyd!

Greener Pastures: presumably unhappy with being told to blow at the Tour because all the firepower's going to back Cadel's GC shot, aging-but-still-dangerous sprint wank Robbie "Road Rage" McEwen's apparently been courting others of late, include Oleg "I Heart Dopers" Tinkov, who also might have a shot at luring Giro wonderstud Franco Pellizotti away from Liquigas as it becomes ever more certain that our ambitious climbing sensation is gonna be pressed into service at the feet of bellissimo new hire St. Ivan of Varese. And to think I'd lost respect for Team Tinkoff for hiring pimping then immediately firing the cheating trifecta of Tyler Hamilton, Jorg Jaksche, and Danilo Hondo--how far the publicity ho has risen!

A Confession: no, I'm not a paid troll for disgusting dopers like Jan Ullrich and Roberto Heras, as those who believe I'm part of the cabal of amoral pro-doping sport-destroying scuzzbags might suggest--I do it for free--but I do concede that, my personal annoyance with the really-not-at-fault Alberto Contador over we love Klodi and Leipheimer's perpetual subservience notwithstanding, and even though I do maintain there's no way Contador was the only one not imbibing (even unwillingly) at Liberty Seguros, the Tour de France is gonna be a total freakin' joke this year without the boy being allowed to defend Michael Rasmussen's '07 Tour title. Of course, Cadel gets massive points for replacing his dull wheel-sucking with occasional actual attacks this season, and even Alejandro Valverde gets huge kudos for having such a smashing season even without the helping hand of his gynecologist Dr. Eufemiano Fuentes, but oughtn't Contador in all fairness, with his sap lieutenants on hand, be allowed the chance to stomp 'em into utter gasping submission if they're so worthy? I'm *trying* to be fair here for once, ASO--hell, I won't even point out what total hypocrite bull!@#$ it is for you let Cofidis and Rabobank race this year--but Let Contador Ride! See Alberto fans?--I'm not against your boy, even if he *did* absorb enough performance enhancers in a day to fuel the entirety of T-Mobile for a week at his old gig!


Anonymous said...

Well, I happen to like Contador--a lot. I am not naive, but want to know on what grounds you say he asorbed performance enhancers at his last gig. Is there some evidence I'm not aware of? He was out of commission for quite some time in 2005 with his brain surgery and recovery. Has that been factored in?

strbuk said...

Geez I get back from a very short vacation and all Hell breaks loose!! Thanks for your good wishes RJ, it's been a pleasure to read you all of these months. I'm joining the legions of Landis fans who will also be in an induced state of "numbness" while waiting for "the verdict". Guess I'll have to get up at 5AM or so Monday, damn and school just let out!! Pass the vodka, full steam ahead!!!