Saturday, October 27, 2007

Shock and Awe

Sink, Sink a Song: yes, Patrik Sinkewitz has become the latest rider to squawk in hopes of receiving a minimalist 1-year doping ban for his freakishly elevated testosterone, trilling to the German cycling fed that there was in fact organized blood doping at T-Mobile even after Ullrich was kicked off the team and indeed during the '06 Tour de France itself, complete with skilled medical intervention throughout the course, though, wisely--at least if he's looking for a new contract when his year in the doghouse is up--denying outright that any such thing happened in the new, improved 2007 squad, and what's more, declining politely to name names on the dubious grounds that he has no idea who else on the team was systematically six inches ahead of him in line at the doctors' hotel room. T-Mobile's spirited defense? Why, such accusations are an "impertinence!" Um, it's nice to convict Sinkewitz of being ungentlemanly and all--'cause if we aren't going to bother to bust most of the riders for actual doping, we might as well go all Etiquette Police on their !@#$#$ and nail 'em for crimes against politesse--but aren't you boys going to, well, address the minor matter of the systematic doping allegations against your team? Oh my yes, after recovering from their fainting spell with help from some smelling salts and a bit of brandy, T-Mobile *did* finally manage to recall the actual point, noting it is *certain* that sort of hijinks wasn't going on at all with the riders this year. Hell, I can buy that--after all, didn't you guys promote your doping riders off the bike to management roles instead?

Tour-qued: and, the reactions to the 2008 Tour unveiling are in, with Carlos Sastre understandably happy to see the time trials eviscerated, baby revelation Maurizio Soler already planning to take the Alpe d'Huez, and even the mellow Cadel Evans, apparently annoyed at Contador smoking him in the mountain stages, openly thrilled to see the time bonuses tossed. Oh, come on, I can see that for a sprint or a rolling stage (though surely the little dances for intermediate sprint points give half-interested newbies something to look at when they start getting antsy halfway into their first full day's race coverage)--but ought not there be *some* reward for someone who's got the guts, stamina, and--no, I won't say it!--to actively attack in the mountains? Speaking of which, disgraced superclimber Andrei Kashechkin, apparently lacking an actual defense, continues his crusade against the egregious "human rights violations" that are unannounced doping controls, hopefully putting him up for next year's Nobel peace prize along with similarly selfless warriors for dignity and justice. Fight the power, Andrei! Damn, Vino, is there *anyone* in the peloton you haven't managed to bring down with you?

Ale Is the Centerfold: finally, for those of you who just aren't satisfied watching Alessandro Petacchi surging across the line in snug-fitting team kit all season, I see Gazzetta dello Sport's got an ad for his new come-hither sponsor calendar, set to debut in mid-November and replete, it would seem, with the sort of torrid romance-novel-cover photographs that would put poor lumpen Fabio to shame. For those of you who've asked me to remember to put in links to stuff, go to, scroll down on the left, and stop and click when you come to our silk-berobed hero welded to the starlet in the lingerie (I forgot to mention, if there's a photo from the Giro up instead, click on "fotogallery"), and if the language of man-candy and cleavage really isn't universal enough, just let me know. Never let it be said that I don't care about both my faithful readers-and-commenters!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

LOL! That Ale-jet calendar preview was cheesy, but thanks for the link. I will stick to gushing over him in his lycra.