Allez-Oops!

Be Careful What You Wish For: having successfully wrestled their beloved Tour de France from the evil clutches of UCI, the French have now been hit with the distinctly disconcerting realization that, should they fail to personally pursue the dastardly podium thief Floyd Landis on crap doping charges themselves, the boy could, technically, claim a place at the 2008 start line. First, you've really no need to worry, ASO--disgraced accused dopers can't find a home anywhere in the peloton thanks to the staunch morality of the teams--right Basso? Second--lay the hell off Landis, you wanks! *Must* you pointlessly knee a man in the works when he's already writhing on the ground? Even CAS isn't going to get its act together on his appeal before February--no offense to Floyd, who is a brilliant and tenacious athlete, but what could possibly make you think that after two years out of road competition he's even gonna be a threat to some half-!@#ed neo-pro bottle carrier (especially considering what astonishing athletes they are), much less any of your 2008 podium darlings? Just...go home. Whether you get to crow "we got him!" or not, his career's destroyed, his legacy is irreversibly tarnished, two years in the peloton at what would've been the height of his powers are gone; even if he actually did nothing wrong, the boy's completely screwed. What conceivable good could this utterly redundant witch hunt do any of us, with the possible exception of reminding everyone that you hypocrites never had it in for, say, admitted dope skank Richard Virenque a tenth as much?

Danihosed: so, I see Cadel's got his ProTour win after all, and what a lousy secondhand way to take it, as UCI triumphantly gets to disqualify DiLuca entirely from the competition under its regs, which miraculously allow them to jack someone for anything anytime anywhere ever, so long as the suspension for it disqualifies him for the last event in the year at hand. What?! Y'know, I'm happy enough for Cadel, but this is !@#$ing ridiculous. Is 80% of the peloton (at a minimum) really gonna have to start watching their backs over rules everyone knew they broke years ago, if some prosecutor with a grudge decides they oughta go down for it now?

Il Grande Giro (di Lombardia, That Is): finally, with the exception of Di Luca, and, more sadly, an injured Michael Boogerd cheated out of his grand farewell, it's a gorgeous lineup for Lombardia on Saturday, with Davide Rebellin, winner-this-week and prior Lombardia king Damiano Cunego, Pippo Pozzato, Stefano Garzelli, Giovanni Visconti and even a passel of Schlecks coming out to play. Unmentioned by anybody, and written off by all: we love Gilberto Simoni, in his last ProTour squad race before he heads off into the sunset for a low-key ramp with a continental gig next year, and, presumably, some very lovely time on his mountain bike. I know this isn't your course Simoni, but you've got that little whippersnapper Riccardo Ricco at your disposal, and Bettini can't possibly take a more beautiful win than last year so I'll back off backing him for once--make that boy earn his keep one last time before Saunier Duval tosses all its weight behind him next season, and vai Gibo!