Game On, Baby Schleck!

Tick-Tock, Sucker!: yes, even in the wake of WADA backing off on its own butt-kissing cowardice and sticking with a minimum level for clenbuterol despite doe-eyed superstar cash-cow Alberto Contador's upcoming doping appeal and the easy "why the hell bother punishing 'im" excuse it would provide, our boy's gutsily announced his program for next year, this time skipping the Giro he rode in case of a Tour ban last year, and setting his sights 100% on Paris. That's 9 months you've got to learn to time trial and make your peace with those unfairly-included "downhills," Andy Schleck! Of course, the race is Cadel's to defend, but with BMC apparently aiming for a spectacular infighter-meltdown between the already-irritated (and thoroughly justified, so stuff it!) Thor Hushovd and ever-ready stage-seeker Gilbert, Alberto's got a pretty sweet shot at the whole show despite a Frank'n'Andy tag-team wear-down--if he's allowed to ride next year. Good luck in November, Alberto--but I bet Andy's not quite so rooting for you!

Don't Cry for Me Jakob Fuglsang ('Cause The Giro Won't Change For *Your* Whiny !@#):
meantime, the spectacular Giro d'Italia's announced its 2012 queen stage, packing in a record 465 climbs in one day including the fearsome summits of the Mortirolo and Stelvio, leaving the race completely undecided until after the penultimate day and already causing nuevo Vuelta sensation/now-serious Giro aspirant RadioSkank recruit Jakob "Jan Ullrich's Mini-Me" Fuglsang to start crying like a 2-month-old. Look Jakob---you are a stellar young talent with a bright future at the Grand Tours. But do you really wanna start emulating Andy Schleck in *everything*?

Questions That Keep You Up At Night: okay, maybe not "you," but probably unjustified Bruyneel reject Jani Brajkovic, anyway--like, is Alexandre Vinokourov gonna nurture and support me to my full and obvious potential at Team Astana, or is he gonna intentionally claw his bike over my body like a discarded gel-snack on his way up the mountains at next year's Tour? Me, I'm genuinely hoping for the best for the talented Jani, but then, well, Vino *has* been known to be a little erratic. Damn, kid, maybe you'd've been better off with RadioSkank--at least the Schleck brothers are fairly harmless!