Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Yep, He's Back All Right

"I Want an Eighth Tour": yes folks, it's official, Lance is back in 2009 to ride the Tour and thereby take the fight against cancer to a global level and, totally coincidentally I'm sure, stuff his monstrous bottomless appetite for adulation with an unprecedented blitz of fawning press coverage, adoring retrospectives, and assorted swooning starlets'n'socialites. And while he won't yet announce what team it's with, can there be any real doubt where the Cult of Personality is gonna reign and Levi (as annie so rightly points out), Klodi, and I assume even little protege Alberto Contador are completely !@##ed? Hope you're enjoying your Vuelta, Alberto--ya ain't gonna be allowed to see the top of the podium at next year's Tour!

Y'know, he's the greatest Tour rider ever, yap, yap, yap (no doubt in part because, unlike, say, Hinault and Indurain, he basically never trained for anything else.) And he's truly got an compellingly inspirational story of triumph over adversity, yap, yap, yap. And if he really decides he wants to win the Tour, I suppose he will, yap. But let's be honest here--if we're gonna raise the dead in this sport, wouldn't it just plain be a *lot* more fun to bring back the irresistible careening Ecstasy-scarfing donut-downing IV-lovin' car-wreck that is the incomparable Jan Ullrich?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ouch! I love Contador, and Levi, and Klodi... I'm an Astana fan. Who is going to play domestique for Lance? I found professional cycling watching Lance ride--very exciting, but now I am thrilled about a new set of riders. I want them to have their chance--not delegated to 2nd class riders. Maybe they will find another team. Maybe I'll move on too.

Anonymous said...

Levi, Klodi and Contador have got to be thinking: WTF?

Annie said...

I just can not imagine where this is going! I believe Contador's contract is up next year with Astana; if he has to spend that year fetching bottles for Lance, I can not see him wanting to stick around and be part of another Burneel dynasty.

I live in WI and we just went through this same drama with Brett Favre having a nice, classy retirement and we all loved him. Then he abruptly announced he was coming back and pushing aside the kid already designated as quarterback. With lots of whining, tantrums, and way too much discussion he finally got shipped of to New York where I guess he is doing fine. But, his reputation was certainly damaged. I see that happening to Lance in this "comeback" attempt.

Maybe Lance would go to Columbia and ride with Hincapie? That could be kind of cool, I guess. Contador could say he beat Lance for the Tour title. (And, I am impressed that he has already called the President of France to help him get into the Tour! Maybe he can place another call to help Astana get back?)

Robyn said...

I also discovered my love for pro-cycling because of Lance. I think it's fine if he wants to come back, but can't he do something different? Why does it have to be the TdF again? Why not try for the Giro or Vuelta or even both in one year? Do something different. Plus, if he decided to win one of the other Grand Tours, we might actually get to watch some of that on T.V. during the week, instead of just on Sundays!