Monday, October 16, 2006

Sex, Drugs, and Rock 'n' Roll (Well, Drugs Anyway)

Ouch!: So ex-Postie/Credit Agricole rider/now TIAA-CREF management Jonathan Vaughters had quite the lively email exchange with confessed doper/ongoing thorn in Lance's side Frankie Andreu in 2005, in which Vaughters apparently claimed he could explain "how Lance fools everybody" and "with everything Floyd told me, I know the method exactly." Not only that, but if you want to know why a huge lump of Posties ignominiously cracked en masse the day after the Dauphine stage of the 2005 Tour, look no further than their blood, which was removed for doping leaving the boys a bit short on a rolling stage even a sprinter could handle. In fact, he claims, Floyd even said he had photos of doped blood being transported by moto, presumably to avoid the hard-to-explain inconvenience of some antidoping spoilsport finding it in the team bus fridge next to the Gatorade. Vaughters, however, gamely backtracked under questioning by the media, and apologetically claimed he was just passing along gossip he'd heard totally indirectly from someone else. What is this, the high-school girls' bathroom? However, Vaughters at least exonerated fellow Credit Agricole rider Christophe Moreau, which makes it at least one clean guy we know of in the peoloton. Right on Christophe!

Hmm...:so Basso, in the midst of discussing the Riis estrangement in diplomatic if perhaps distinctly lovelorn terms, did address the question of why he wouldn't take a DNA test after vowing to prove his innocence by any means possible, wisely blaming it on his lawyer and keeping himself the helpless good guy by saying the attorney's not opposed in principle, but with all the confusion around the Op Puerto investigation, he can't trust the state of conservation of the blood bags seized by the officials. Good work Ivan! See that Floyd? Blood samples bad. Me good. That's it, get it? On the other hand, given the tsunami of sympathetic mail flooding the cycling press, perhaps I'm entirely wrong and Landis is doing the right thing after all. Oh, no I'm not, and like hell he is! We've all accepted from past skirmishes that the lab guys are a pack of circus clowns in white coats; the only question that matters to the fans though is did you actually, really do it or not, and proper procedure is a technicality that most nonlawyers don't give a rat's @#$ about. I stand by my plea, be quiet Floyd!

Back to Basso, I'm still dearly hoping that if Ivan and Bjarne don't kiss and make up, which will completely suck for CSC though it'll put more focus on we love Sastre I imagine cause no way is Riis gonna hire Ullrich if Basso's crap case is scaring him off, Basso doesn't go to Discovery where I'm convinced he would certainly, if unintentionally (that doesn't include you Bruyneel!), screw poor Levi, who after all's got a lot less time to play with than Basso, though to be fair to Basso I'm not sure (if the other rumors are true) what a still sprint-heavy Milram can do for him in the high passes and he'd clearly be better off for Grand Tour purposes with Johan & Co. Anyhow, if Basso's closing the door on DNA samples, good luck to ProTour team organization manager Roger Legeay, who's calling for DNA testing of all the Op Puerto riders before they can return to the peloton. Let's be honest here before we do the right thing, which it would be--you sure you want to knock that many heavy-hitting sponsor-pleasing cash cows off the podium Roger?

D'oh-pe!:And, speaking of Jan Ullrich, after the latest round of rumors of too many visits to Madrid, two bags of blood labeled 'Jan', signed photos for Fuentes, DNA swabs, doping payments new docs and a heightened Swiss investigation, Jan, the Swiss, and pretty much everyone else on the plaet are engaged in a massive hoo-ha of denials obfuscations and am-not-eithers, which leaves virtually nothing regarding the Swiss proceedings except that...nah, Jan's been smacked around enough already, I'll just leave it there. Good luck Jan!

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