Whew, were *those* exhausting climbing days--to watch on our end, anyway! Luckily, we've *all* earned a good day's rest. So now that we're down to the final push, what's the state of this crazy-!@# race? This!
1. I don't care *how* many stages they win or who they smack around on GC--Movistar is still one !@#$ed-up squad. Valverde continues to attack Quintana like antibiotics on sinus infection. Soler's washed his hands of the whole lot of you bastards, with a brief pause to do Bala a solid, after his public rebuke from his DS. And your general strategy appears to be Every Man for Himself Because There's a Zombie Apocolypse, with a frisson of Chased By Screaming Human Steroids in Bondage Gear In A Mad Max Movie and a subtle whiff of Holy !@#$ How Many Times Are They Gonna Remake "Halloween" Before They Run Outta Bodies? Geez, maybe it *is* better Unzue sent Landa over to the Tour of Britain to brush up on gardening tips! Still, with Valverde firmly in second on the podium, and claiming fatigue which you know means he's waiting to bushwhack anyone in his way by this weekend, you can hardly write Movistar's whatever-the-hell-they-call-it off as totally ineffective--and with the commentators uniformly confounded by every half kilometer, you sure can't say it isn't entertaining!
2. (Minor) Celebrity Deathmatch: Ineos' Tao Geoghegan Hart and Katusha's Ruben Guerrero. Okay, so they blew the break and Fuglsang took the day--but what was *that* nasty little slap-fight after the line about?
3. Wolfpack My !@#--yes, that dashing breakaway victory was textbook PhilGil, but as a giant "!@#$ you for screwing me in July!"
4. It's All a Giant Slovenian Conspiracy. Didn't you see--gasp!--that wily fist-bump between Roglic and Pogacar? And the only reason everyone's clutching their pearls in horror is because no one *they* want to win has actually gotten their !@#$ together first. Just because our guys are busy eating their own young doesn't mean those two can't make some sense!
5. Anyone else a little weirded out that Jumbo-Visma is suddenly a GC squad? 'Cause I'm about to start betting on Euskadi-Murias for the sprints!
6. It's Deja-Vu All Over Again: Come on. I can't be the *only* one who thought Jakob Fuglsang already bagged a bucket o' Grand Tour stage wins!
7. !@#$in' Hell, Froome! Yep, *another* hospital photo op, this one proving that peeling a potato is apparently a slaughterhouse compared to crashing down a descent at rocket speed. Either go away or get popped once and for all, we can't stand this crap any more!
8. If You're Lookin' To Score...I think the race helicopter guys are gonna be doing a *lot* more random buzzing of rooftops from now on, whether they're on the race course or not!
9. Vinokourov Isn't Done With You Mother!@#$ers Yet. He's just bagged the Ironman World Championships in France in his age group--you think he doesn't still have a few scores to settle with the *cyclists* who got in his way?
Well, that's yer quickie review. Tomorrow, it's an officially-classified "flat" stage, which means the sprinters are gonna let the break dangle to the very last millimeter before they decide if they're gonna cause chaos right to the line. Onwards and (sorry, sprinters) upwards!
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