Monday, April 07, 2008

Velvet Devolder, a Temporary Adieu, and a Coupla Brainteasers

Young Einstijn: well, that was easily one of the most exciting breakaways this season as a rampaging Stijn Devolder takes Flanders after a loooong solo escape, leaving endless pave'-battered carcasses and a mortified pack of pre-race strongman favorites in his wake. Anyone else thinking if the big boys hadn't sat up scratching their heads so long waiting for someone else to expend the energy to start the chase they might've actually reeled him in? After all, he'd already proven he was strong enough to blow the field apart for Tom Boonen and still have the legs to continue. Anyway, woo-hoo Stijn, what a crap ill-timed puncture for Hoste, and what the !@#$ Hushovd?!

Everybody's Working for the Weekend: as defendant Danilo Di Luca dope-slaps the Giro organizers by taking the overall in Lombarda, Jan Ullrich's rumored to reach a deal with his prosecutors for a sweet 1 million-euro fine for doping he still gets to swear he never, ever did, and Alberto Contador lams a giant "you suck!" into Tour de France organizer ASO on stage 1 of the Vuelta a Pais Vasco, I am imminently stuck in humid computerless hell for the next 4 days and not only will miss a good half-week's hot gossip, but also the priceless run-up to Paris-Roubaix. !@#$%$#! lack of a trust fund! So to entertain you both til my return, I humbly leave you with these questions to debate, or at least, to ponder:

1) Did he, or didn't he?
a) Valverde
b) Landis
c) Di Luca
d) Petacchi
e) Contador
f) Armstrong

No, I'm not tossing Iban Mayo into the mix. I can't stand it. Go to hell!

2) The first-time penalty for a doping poz should be:
a) a two-year ban.
b) a four-year ban.
c) a lifetime ban.
d) a spectacular beat-down by Pat "Dick" McQuaid.
e) nuthin'. We heart cheats!

3) Who will win:
a) Paris-Roubaix
b) the Giro d'Italia
c) the Tour de France
i. if you picked Cadel, will you think he's a shameless undeserving wheel-sucker if he doesn't once attack or take a stage?
d) the Vuelta (like anyone else cares. Dammit!)

All righty, enjoy folks, I'll be back yappin' again next weekend!

2 comments:

Randie said...

1) Did he, or didn't he?
a) Valverde - don't care
b) Landis - most likely but he shouldn't have to serve a ban if ever his appeal is decided because he has been off the bike for, like, EV-ERRRR
c) Di Luca - very suss.....
d) Petacchi - meh
e) Contador - discovery rider doping? what? how UNUSUAL....
f) Armstrong - despite his 'clean' tests and every other excuse he uses i think he did, and i stand by that judgement, but i still repect him.

2) The first-time penalty for a doping poz should be:
a) a two-year ban. NO!
b) a four-year ban. NO!
c) a lifetime ban. NO!
d) a spectacular beat-down by Pat "Dick" McQuaid. YES! and then the results should be posted on youtube for the enjoyment of all like minded cycling sadists.
e) nuthin'. We heart cheats! BAH!
with all the dodgey tests / power plays / etc i reckon to ban sdomeone for life is too harsh when they could be innocent.

3) Who will win:
a) Paris-Roubaix - I hope o'grady, because i'm an aussie, even though it not going to happen. Boonen maybe?
b) the Giro d'Italia - don't know, lack of coverage and info means i know nothing about the race *sigh*
c) the Tour de France - dunno, don't care. i watch it for magnificent sprints / time trials / climbers and of course the yearly scandal/s. Maybe Cadel but he bette attack dammit!
i. if you picked Cadel, will you think he's a shameless undeserving wheel-sucker if he doesn't once attack or take a stage? Yes, yes i will.
d) the Vuelta (like anyone else cares. Dammit!) same as giro sorry rj. i ould care, but that requires effort and it's about time for bed.

Night!

Shameless St Millar Defender said...

Did he, or didn't he?
Valverde – yeah, probably
Landis – hurts, but yeah
Di Luca – yeah, probably
Petacchi – yeah, probably
Contador – yeah, probably
Armstrong – hurts, but yeah

The first-time penalty for a doping poz should be:
a) two-year ban, followed by signs of deep and meaningful regret, on a scale to be measured against that shown by David Millar.

Who will win:
Paris-Roubaix - Go! Hincapie. Oh wait, you said who WAS going to win, not who I’d like to win… nah, that’s no fun. I’m a cycling fan, we specialise in dreams. Like a dope-free Grand Tour.
the Giro d'Italia – One A. Schleck, the Boy Wonder
the Tour de France – David Millar (I can dream, and he won’t have to be super-dom for Iban, will he?)

If you picked Cadel, will you think he's a shameless undeserving wheel-sucker if he doesn't once attack or take a stage?
I didn’t pick Cadel but please! just one unexpected flash of brilliance, its all I ask. Some Armstrong / The Look moment… or even something like Fabian’s State Three Sprint last year. Do the maillot jaune the honour it deserves and give me something to put my heart behind.