Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Give Him Back his Mayo Jaune, Dammit!

No, Not the Tour's; Saunier Duval's: as the Spanish cycling fed miraculously shows the same guts it has in protecting its amore Alejandro Valverde by declining to pursue we love Iban Mayo on the grounds that further review would be improper as he's already been absolved, and be, more frankly, "against the principles of justice," the heavy-handed goons at UCI, already stung by the Landis teams' allegations--well, concrete showing--that they and the same hack lab that analyzed Iban's Z sample are a pack of self-aggrandizing bias-driven snipe-hunting monkeys who routinely flout their own rules whenever it suits them, remain determined to take Iban's crap case to the Court of Arbitration for Sport, thereby smugly ensuring that even if Iban didn't do it, or they're simply too stupid to prove that he did, he's gonna remain teamless, jobless, and broke in 2008, lose valuable Giro and classics prep time as the other paycheck-graced boys cavort in their team kits at training camp, and likely be unable to find a team at all for 2009 except those coarse pigs over at Rock Racing, when all this time he ought to be riding about in Saunier Duval team kit, on Saunier Duval's bank account, getting ready for his continued post-meltdown resurgence for the coming year. You blow, Pat "Dick" McQuaid! Why don't we just drag this out until he's actually personally clinically dead, and you can dance a mazurka on his ignominious grave? Look, UCI. Even if you're right, you blew it. Procedural-dithering an opponent to death--waiting it out til someone's broke, incapacitated, or has gone to Trip the Light Fantastic--is a wussbag litigation tactic of the bitter, pathetic, meritless, and weak. You lost; suck it up, take it like a grownup, and get back to nipping at Valverde's ankles like some relentless crazed Chihuahua, why dontcha? Meanwhile, free Iban--woo-hoo!

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