Oh No! Woo-hoo! Holy Crap! All Hell Breaks Loose (And Just Plain Breaks) #LaVuelta

Okay, so the individual time trial tossed a distracted Nairo Quintana over his handlebars and outta GC contention, thumped Chris Froome right in the nuts, catapulted Samu to 7th overall, pleasantly surprised Purito Rodriguez, gave Valverde the team leadership without even having to continue to bushwhack poor Nairo to get it, and anointed Alberto Contador Fake-Out King of the Universe. But they all had to get back in the saddle for the mountains today, and what'd *they* do to the field? Snapped down-but-determined Nairo's shoulder blade like a toothpick and outta the whole race, redeemed Froomey, justified the hype over Giro-podium Fabio Aru, confirmed Contador's riding like a freak, gave Valverde *another* chance to creep us all out, and pushed Purito up yet another spot in GC. Am I the only feeling like after about stage 5 the Tour de France was a 2-week Lawrence Welk Show marathon in comparison to this year's Vuelta? Not to mention that our beloved ex-Carrots have been kicking absolute !@# when not beholden to their team captains! So *now* do we get to bring back Euskaltel? Tomorrow: an eight-loop rolling circuit where Bouhanni gets another chance to bitch if Degenkolb rides better'n him. Come on, Sagan, give Oleg another reason to think you're gonna earn your paycheck next season! Here, today's stage winner Fabio Aru gestures to the Orica-Greenedge team-bus guy wedged under the banner again to honk his horn: Well done kid!